After a long day with Josh, all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep. But certain people had other plans for me. Dawn and Kyle called me up and asked if I wanted to go out. I can't turn down partying, so I said yes. I left my apartment and went over to the Brumley household. I expected there to be a lot of people there, but it was just Dawn, Cale, Kyle, and Me. They were already tokin' and drinking some Burnette's Vanilla Vodka. I sat down and took a swig, "Yummy." I smiled, taking another swig.
"Hey Bre!" Dawn smiled, throwing her arm around my shoulders and giving me a side hug. "I missed ya buddy!"
"I missed you too D-Dog." I laughed, taking the joint from her and hitting it. I blew the smoke out, practicing my smoke rings.
"Where were you earlier?" Kyle asked, taking the joint from me.
"Hanging out with Josh." I smiled, taking another swig of vodka. "You know, I really like this stuff."
"Take it, it grosses me out." Kyle smiled, "Who's Josh though?"
"My sort-of boyfriend. I introduced him as my boyfriend, but he hasn't officially asked me yet." I explained, taking another swig.
Then I heard the screen door slam and I turned my attention in the general direction. "It's probably just Andy, back from work." Cale said. Sure enough he was right, because Andrew walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, pausing at the back of his neck to scratch it. His eyes were closed and his face was pointing towards the ceiling. I felt my heart skip a beat. I hated that it still did that everytime he was around, like some part of me still belonged to him.
"Long day at work bro?" Kyle asked Andrew.
"Not even that, I'm just really stressed." Andrew answered, his eyes still closed.
"About?" Cale asked, passing Andrew the joint. Andrew put the end of it to his lips and inhaled. I watched him, my heart skipping beats. No matter how much I wanted to hate him, he was still a part of me. He wasn't necessarily a vital organ, but more of an extremity. I didn't need him, but functioning properly wasn't as easy without him.
"Bre." He answered, breathing the smoke out. "Her new boyfriend."
"You knew she wasn't going to wait around forever, you told her it was over. What did you expect her to do?" Kyle defended me. "Besides, they aren't dating."
"They aren't?" Andrew asked, opening his eyes for the first time. They didn't notice me at first because of my recently died blonde hair. But they quickly found me. "You guys didn't tell me she was here."
"Andrew..." I trailed off, standing up. I was a little wobbly from the vodka, so I took another sip. "Can we talk?" He thought about it for a moment, grabbed an unlit joint, and started for his bedroom. I followed him nervously, my palms were sweaty and my heart was beating fast. The sight of his room hit me hard, so many memories were made in these four walls, but couldn't I say the same about my apartment? His room just seemed so much more...private, like an extention of Andrew himself. He sat down on the bed, lighting the joint and taking a hit.
I sat across from him on the floor. He sighed, half-smiling. "Get up here, Bre."
My heart jumped. It was almost how things used to be, only it wasn't. We were both broken people.
Andrew grabbed a strand of my hair and twisted it between his fingers. "Just like the first time I met you." He smiled. For some reason that hit me hard, and I was holding back tears. They weren't really sad tears; they were the tears of the broken-hearted.
"I'm not dating Josh." It was the first thing I had said since we got to his room. He raised his eyebrow at me, and then before I could stop myself everything was being said. Every word, every action, taken back. I apologized for everything, tripping over words and stumbling through sentences. In the middle of all of my explaining I had finished the vodka. My head was spinning, and I stared at Andrew, hoping he believed me. Just hoping, really. That was all there was left to do. Hope.
"Don't think for one second that I never loved you." That was how it ended. I collapsed on the bed, not really caring if my dress had come up to high when I plopped down, not caring about anything except Andrew and myself. If he didn't believe me, if he turned me down, I could handle it. I'm a big girl. I managed before, I can manage again. This would be closure, if anything.
"I love you." Was all he said. The only words uttered after what seemed like a speech. But I just nodded, and he knew that I loved him too. Then he was next to me, pulling me against him, kissing me, holding me as tightly as he could. I knew then that this time he would try harder, because he couldn't lose me again, I meant too much to him. I knew this wasn't a good idea, but I was getting tired of sacrificing my happiness just so I would stay out of trouble. I wanted to be happy again.
xoxo Bren
