Wedding Details :D

bridesmaids dresses. andrew, you better love me. -.-


tuxes.
my bouquet.
the cake :D.

bridesmaids bouquets.
my dress.

This morning I woke up and went straight to the computer in search of everything I needed for the wedding. Dresses, tuxes, a cake, bouquets, everything. I was up for a few hours already when Andrew got up. "Bre, baby, what are you doing?" He asked, walking into the living room.
"Looking for stuff for the wedding, it's awful." I groaned, looking at him. He came over and sat next to me on the couch. "Here, I'll find a dress I like and show it to you, and you tell me what you think." I smiled.
"Okay." He laughed, leaning against me. "Bre, I don't care what you're wearing or where it is that we're getting married or what the cake and flowers look like. I really don't, because as long as I'm just getting married to you and I am going to be with you forever, I really don't care about all the other details."
"Really?" I asked, looking away from the endless pages of dresses in front of me.
"Seriously. We could fly to Vegas and go through one of those drive-thru weddings in jeans and a t-shirt but if it means you'd be mine forever I'd do it and love it while I was doing it." He nodded. I started to cry, for some strange reason. Andrew just kinda sat there, holding me while I cried. I could feel him breathing, I could hear his heartbeat. It was nice. It calmed me down.
"I love you." I whispered.
"I love you too." He smiled, holding me tighter. "Do you really want a wedding? The stress can't be good for the babies."
"It probably isn't." I sighed, "But I've always dreamed of having a big fancy wedding, and getting married to the love of my life." I smiled, holding his hand. "But now I think all I wanted was the dress."
"You can have a dress." Andrew smiled.
"And then after-wards I get you, it's a win-win situation." I laughed. "But about the kids...after we get married, and of course move into a bigger apartment...are you going to adopt them?" I asked. It was kind of awkward, actually.
"Who's kids are they again?"
"Jayson's."
"Of course I'll adopt them baby. And raise them like my own. If its the closest I'll get to having a family with you." Andrew smiled. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Okay enough with the cheeziness.
"But I still want a wedding. Mainly because Jamie's forcing me to do it." I laughed.
"Okay, okay." Andrew laughed. Then we picked everything out, and blah blah blah.

Okey doke, so I've got everything picked out, the bridesmaids dresses, the flowers, the cake, the tuxs, and most importantly, my dress. I'm going to put the pictures in this post...somewhere. I still don't know how the picture thing works on here. Anyways, this is actually a pretty pointless post for anyone who isn't in the wedding, or doesn't care about it :D. So...yeah, ALSO, I moved the date. It's January 22nd now. Mainly because by February I could be all preggo looking. Right now I'm still pretty small, so I want to use that to my advantage. But then I also want to get married sooner :).


P.S. DEAR ALEXANDER JAMIE MATTHEWS, SINCE I FAILED TO PUT THIS IN MY LAST POST, I SHALL PUT IT IN THIS ONE. I LOVE YOU, YOU ARE AMAZING, WONDERFUL, PRETTY, SMART, FUNNY, ABUSIVE, DEMANDING, PUSHY, AND MEAN. BUT I LOVE YOU. okay, happy now? XD

Dear Andrew, I love you.

I brought the last of Andrew's bags into my house, sitting it down in the living room and then crashing on the couch. Andrew walked in from outside and sat next to me.
"I'm so glad you're moving in." I smiled, leaning against him.
"Me too." He smiled, taking my hand and playing with my fingers.
"God, I feel like there's just so much to do. With the babies, and you moving in, and then we have to plan the wedding, and I feel like I'm about to explode." I put my head in my hands. I started crying, oh god, here are those mood swings everyone's been talking about.
"Bre, shhh, it's okay." Andrew rubbed my back and pulled me closer to him.
"No, it's not. How can you say that? Everything is not okay." I started crying even harder.
"Yes it is, trust me." He whispered.
"NO it isn't!" I screamed, standing up. "This is just too much for me right now, I need to go into my room and think about all of this." I started to cry again as I ran back to my room. Fuck mood swings.
Like an hour later I walked back into the living room, where Andrew was watching TV and drinking beer. I didn't sit down, I just stood at the front of the hallway, looking at him. He turned and smiled at me, standing up.
"You better?" He asked. I nodded and walked into his open arms. "Wanna talk about the wedding?"
"Yes, please." I nodded, walking over to the couch. I laid down, with my head in his lap. I looked up at him.
"When were you thinking of having it?" Andrew asked, playing with my hair.
"Well....what do you think about Valentines day?" I asked, shrugging.
"Noooooooooo." He shook his head. I sat up.
"Why not?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Because I don't want to have to share OUR day with everyone else. It should be only about us." He smiled, pulling me over to him.
"Aw, that's sweet." I smiled, laughing a little. "But really, if not then....when?" I asked.
"Hmmm...." Andrew sat there for a while, just staring off into space. After a while I was almost certain that he had thought too hard, and died.
"How about February 1st?" I asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.
"Sounds good to me. The sooner the better." He smiled, leaning down to kiss me.
"Yeah okay, not time for that yet." I stopped him, "We need to figure out who will be doing what."
"Fine." He groaned, leaning back into the couch. Bler Bler Bler, blah blah blah.
Here is what we've come up with:

Wedding date: February 1st

Maids of honor: Cristy Anderson
Jamie Matthews
Dawn Cade

Groomsmen: Kyle Brumley
Austin Brumley
Caleb Brumley

Flower Girl: Brooklyn Cade

Ring Bearer: Blaze Winston/Blair (I was thinking, Blair might have to help him down the aisle)

Annnnnnd, that's it. I'm pretty sure of it. Everyone's invited, obviously. :D

Christmas, and a new apartment.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FATASS PEOPLE THAT I LOVE SO DEARLY. And, the christmas spirit is gone. Yeah, I don't much care for christmas. I don't know why, really. But I got you all gifts (i'll name those off later.)
First things first. Jamie seemed pretty...annoyed at the fact that I just barged into her life and started sharing a bed with her. So I decided to use the money I got from my job, and buy a house. Now, I used money that I had saved up from over the years too, it wasn't all from my job. I had planned on buying a house anyways, you know with the twins being born in a few months and all. I wasn't going to make Jamie go through that.
My house is pretty empty right now, I'm going to get my old furniture from Mark's house and then I'll move it into my place and bler bler bler.
So, Andrew decided he wanted to take me to his house so I could meet his grandma. Ooooh, joy -.- . Anyways, so I walked in and his brothers and his mom and dad said hi to me, and then his grandma saw me.
"Who are you? Another hooker?"
"Excuse me?"
"Are. You. A. Hooker?"
"No, I'm Andrew's girlfriend."
"You must be hooker then."
"I am NOT a hooker."
"You're fat."
"I'm pregnant."
"HOOKER!"
"I AM NOT A HOOKER! DAMMIT!"
"Grandma, Bre's not a hooker." Andrew stood up for me.
"Yeah, she's a stripper!" Cale winked.
"I will strangle you Cale."
"She's also a druggie. I tend to stay away from her." Kyle added, winking.
"I hate you all." I groaned, sitting at the table. Everyone else sat down and we started to eat.
"Make sure you leave enough food for the hooker, she's eating for two."
"I am not a hooker. I am Andrew's girlfriend."
"Are they his babies?"
"Well, no. They're my ex-husbands. He was a hooker, for sure."
"HOOKER!"
"That is the second time you have screamed that at me, and I don't like it. So, stop."
"HOOK-ER."
"SHUT UP."
"HOOKER! HOOKER! HOOKER!"
"YOU'RE A HOOKER!"
"Finally! Someone understands me!"
"Wait...you're a hooker?"
"I was...back when I was young."
"Now I get why you call everyone else a hooker."
So we talked for a while, and soon Andrew was telling me it was time to go, so I said goodbye to the Brumleys and their grandma before leaving with my boyfriend.
Andrew took me to the park. It was a little cold to be walking around, but I wasn't going to say anything about it. He stopped me at the water fountain, and turned me so I was looking at him. Before I could process what he was doing, he was down on one knee asking me to marry him.
"Wh-what?"
"Will you marry me? You said it once before, please say it now. I love you."
"An-Andrew...I-I....I love you too...I-I...yes."
"Really?"
"Y-yes." I smiled.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
and then, we kissed. :)

NOW, to the presents! I bet you all just skipped through the first part to get here. Greedy ass mother fuckers -.-

JAMIE: You got....an old Jewish man. because I know you like Jews. oh, and an autographed photo of osama benladin or whatever the hell his name is.

BLAIR: I got you a dinosaur. His name is Enrikay.

TIBBY: Banana condoms. nuff said.

PONY: I got you a harness...and a carriage so you can take me on carriage rides :).

SODA: I got you a bible. you like that kinda shit.

DARREL: I got you fake boobs from spencers. I thought you'd wanna give your hand a break. How have you not gotten carpal tunnel yet?

KIT-KAT: I got you a little collar for your cat that Soda got you. Lets keep our fingers crossed that he doesn't kill this one too :D

MARK: I got you not alcohol. That's for sure. I actually didn't get you anything :). on second thought. you know the movie elf? and the gift for "someone special"? I got you that ;).

CARSON: I got you a dildo, only it's supposed to be and exact replica of Jack's penis. i thought you'd enjoy it. XD

STEVEN: I got you some brains, please don't eat them.

DALLAS: I got you a new pair of boots. knock yourself out.

JELLETAIN MOLD: I got you a signed picture of that Dean fellow you love so much.

DIMITRIANNE: I got you a cloak, some fake incisors, and some white face make-up so you can be a vampire. :D

ELENA: I got you some professional help, your appointments start on Jan. 1st.

BROOKS: I got you some dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets.

JOHNNY: I got you a certificate of authentication that says you're the real muffin man. Love me.

DAWN: I got you a helmet. it's a disco ball helmet. you should love it :D.

CRISTAY: I GOT YOU THE MOST AMAZING THING IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD. I GOT YOU AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE OF ALL TIME LOW, COBRA STARSHIP, AND FALL OUT BOY. :D great, huh?

LUCIAN: I got you a new bass. love it, kiss it, make babies with it. :D

AUSTIN: I got you a cheeseburger. Jamie made me change it from what it was -.- that present was better.

KYLE: I got you some drugs :).

CALE: I got you a picture of me to put on your nightstand. great, isn't it? let's hope andrew doesn't kill you ;).

ANDREW: I got you my heart, please...don't break it. I finally got all the pieces back together :(. I love you, more than anything. and I want to spend forever with you. You absolutely blow me away :).

all in all, it was a great christmas for me :). I love all of you, you're like my family. i don't know what i would do without you.

This is actually a pretty pointless post, but I find it funny, so you MUST read it.

I finished putting my last bag in my car, at the precise moment when Mark came home from work.
"Bre, what are you doing? What's with the bags?" Mark asked, getting out of his car. "Oh, I'm moving out." I smiled, slamming my trunk closed. "Uh no, you aren't." "Yeah, actually...I am. I'm moving in with Jamie." I nodded, getting in my car. I drove to Jamie's house, ignoring calls from my brother the whole way there. I got there and Jamie let me in and I got all situated and blah blah blah.
That night we decided to watch a movie. I got to pick it out, so of course it was a good one. We watched Gumby. You know, the movie about the clay people...and yeah, so we watched that. It was pretty great, actually. Then we got bored, so I was like "Yo Jammie, let's call up Andrew and Austin and have them come over." and Jamie was all like "Oh my god Bre, you are so pretty and skinny and amazing and smart and stuff. That is such a wonderful and amazing idea, and I wish I was half as pretty, and skinny, and amazing, and smart as you."
So we called em up and they came over. I decided to take this get-to-gether to the next level. I called over some of the other members of the gang, and told some of them to bring the alcoholistic beverages. Now it was a REAL party. I'm a REAL boy! <3 Pinoc...however you spell his name. Anywho, so now we had a parrrrrrrrtay!
People were drinking, and passing out all over the place. well...soon we got everyone out of Jamie's house and finally it was just me and her. "Hey Jammers, how about I tell you a bedtime story?" I laughed, following her down the hallway. "If you have to most amazing Bre." Jamie smiled. I walked into her room and tucked her in, before sitting on the edge of her bed and starting on my story. "okay, so once upon a time there was a pretty pretty princess who lived in a very tall tower. there was nothing but a window, and she had no way to get in or out of the tower, so she stayed in there waiting for prince charming to come rescue her. he never came. she waited, and waited, until finally she couldn't take it anymore and she jumped out of the window. she landed at the bottom. of course it was the longest drop in the world, and so she died. the end." I finished my lovely story. "Bre, that sucked." "What happened to me being amazing?!" "You are, but that was an awful story." Jamie shook her head. "Suck my dick." "You don't have one." "So. Suck it anyways," "Tell me another one?" "NO. YOU DON'T LIKE MY FIRST ONE, YOU DON'T GET A SECOND ONE. Nah, I'll tell you another one." "YAY!" "Don't ever do that again, if you do I will never tell you another story as long as I live." "Fine." "Okay now, story time. SO, there's this town. and everyone in this town is perfect. perfect eyes, perfect hair, perfect bodies, perfect skin, even perfect minds. and in this town, everyone starts out normal, like you and me and everyone else. so, whenever you turn 14, or whatever age you are right before you go into high school, they take you and you go through this surgery. and they make you perfect. now this went on for years, until someone decided they didn't want the surgery, because it made everyone clueless. and then more and more people started not wanting to do it. and soon enough, all of the perfect people died. and the world was back to normal. the end." "Bre, that was retarded." "God, you are SO mean Jamie." "Tell me a better one?" "Fine, but this is the last one." "Okey doke." "So there was a very pretty girl named Jamie, and she was dating one of four brothers, his name was Austin. So the two dated for a long time, and they fell in love. like, real love. They got married, and settled down. They had two amazingly pretty kids, two boys. ehhhhh they aren't named. So everyone loved the happy couple, and they lived happy lives, down to the very last minute." "I LOVED THAT ONE!" "I bet you did." "Thanks Bre, for the uh....bedtime stories." "Anytime kiddo." "Hey Bre, you can stay in here if you want." "Gross, I'm not sleeping with you, you freak!"

I'm Coming Home, I'm Coming Home.

......................And I'm pregnant." I finished telling Alec. "Bre, maybe you should go home...this can't be good for your babies." Alec made a hand movement towards my belly. "No, it's not. More or less, I should go home because I miss my family." I laughed, bitterly. "Then go home doll, don't worry about me. I know my way around here." Alec smiled. "You sure?" I asked. "Totally." Alec laughed. I hugged him before getting my things together, putting them in the car and heading back to Tulsa.

I Think I'll Go To Boston...

I got into my car, and drove, and drove. I blasted the radio, sticking my hand out the window and moving it along with the wind. One had on the wheel. Care free.
A song by Augustana came on, it was called Boston. I sang along to the familiar song and it gave me and idea of where to go. I turned my car around and made my way to the east coast. To Boston.
I had to stop at a gas station about half-way there. I got out of the car, and went into the store, I planned on getting some Monster and some Watermelon Sour Patch Kids.
"What's a nice girl like you doing alone on the road?" A guy asked, I turned around. He looked about 20 or 22, maybe somewhere in-between. He was okay lookin', he reminded me of the Brumley's. He had the long hair, only his eyes were bright blue. They were hypnotizing.
"You don't know me, you don't care." I narrowed my eyes, walking around him and to the candy. I got some Sour Patch Kids and headed to the counter. The boy stopped me.
"I'm not going to hurt you, okay? You looked lonely, I thought you might have wanted someone to talk to." He shrugged.
"I'm going to Boston, where no one knows my name. Just for something to do." I smiled.
"I'm going to leave this place the first chance I get." The boy smiled. He seemed as if he was reassuring himself, instead of saying to me.
"You wanna come with me?" I asked. I kind of wanted to take it back, seeing as I didn't know the kid. But he seemed okay.
"Really?" He asked. The look on his face broke my heart. He looked as if this was the first time someone had ever even remotely cared about him.
"Yeah, I need some company, and you seem nice." I smiled, putting my stuff on the counter. I paid and then walked out to the car. The guy stayed on the sidewalk in front of the store, just staring at me. "Are you going to get in the car, or not?" I laughed. He smiled and got in the passenger seat.
"Thanks." He smiled once we were a little ways down the road.
"No problem," I smiled. "So what's your name?"
"Alec Mayfield." He answered, "And yours?"
"Breanna Parker. Call me Bre," I smiled back.
"Okay then, Bre. How about in an hour or so, I drive?" He asked.
"Deal." I laughed, turning up the volume on the radio. We spent most of the way to Boston singing along to songs, and talking about our families. Turns out Alec is a lot like me. He lives with his older brother, his mom and dad are gone. He'd be a greaser if he lived in Oklahoma. I finally met someone who understands me.
"Bre," Alec whispered, shaking me awake. "We're here."
I sat up in the passenger seat, opening my eyes. The view was beautiful, and so obviously not Boston.
"Where are we?" I asked.
"I know it's not Boston...but I thought we could crash here for a few days, and then go to Boston. Not a lot of people know about his place. But I wanted to share it, with you." He smiled, getting out of the car.
I got out too, taking the area in. There was a lake, with lights strung out all around it. Pretty lights, too. A small town could be seen not too far off. I smelt food cooking, and I made my way over to the buildings. Alec followed.
It looked like the town was having a cook-out, or whatever.
"Alec dear, how nice of you to join us." An elder woman smiled.
"I brought someone, a friend." He smiled, pulling me over to him.
"Who's this Al?" I asked.
"This is my grandma," He laughed. Weird-ass, I thought, but it's sweet. "I know it's gay to bring you here, but I wanted to stay here for a few days, ya know? Rest up. Then we can get back on the road." He blushed.
"Yo, yo, yo. It's okay, I think it's a good idea, as long as there's food." I smiled.
"Oh yes, there's food!" Alec's grandma smiled, pulling me over to a table full of all kinds of good home-made food.
"It looks delicious." I smiled, taking a plate and filling it up.
"It is, trust me." Alec smiled.
"I do trust you." I replied, looking down at the food, thinking about how gay that must've sounded.
"Come on Bre, let's eat." Alec smiled, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. Then. We. Ate.

Booooom. Yeah, I left. Don't know when I'll be back. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I've made some good friends, and they're going to help me. I love you all. I'll post about Boston some more later, but now I must go, ta-ta.

I'm Fighting My Demons.

I pulled up outside of the doctors office, ready for another check-up. That's when I saw Jayson's car. "What the hell is he doing here?" I mumbled to myself. I grabbed the divorce papers, just in case, and shoved them into my purse before walking into the doctors office.
"Hello." The secretary smiled. "Hi, I'm here for a check-up." I smiled back, looking around the room for any signs of Jace. "Name?" "Breanna Parker." I replied. "Through those doors, someones already in there, waiting for you." I walked through the doors she showed to me and into a small room. Jayson was sitting in a chair, looking out the window. "Hey Jace."
"Bre," He stood up, looking as if he were about to cry. "Why are you here?" I asked, trying not to sound mean. "I still care about the baby." Jace narrowed his eyes. "Babies, there's two Jace. The doctor called me a few weeks after the last appointment. There's two in there." I snapped. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. "I dunno, we broke up. You shouldn't be here right now." "But I am." "Like I said, you shouldn't be. Didn't my brother already beat your ass?" I asked. "Doesn't change the way I feel about you and our kids." He smirked. I remembered the papers, and pulled them out of my bag. "Sign these." I slammed them on the table. "I'm not signing those." "Sign them!" "I'm not signing them, I'm not done with you Bre." "Well I'm done with you! Now sign the damn things!" I was almost screaming. Jayson looked up at me, he looked confused. "I thought you loved me Breanna." "I thought you loved me too, until you cheated." "It was an accident, it was only once, I've changed!" "Once a cheater, always a cheater." "Fuck Bre! I love you!" The next thing I know Jace has me pushed against the wall, kissing me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel anything. I didn't push him away immediatly, I really didn't want to. But I did. Because I thought about Andrew, and how much I love him. "Jace, get off." I pushed him away. "What? Why?" "I'm sorry, but I'm in love with someone else. Someone better." I smiled.

Anywho's, I did the check up, got the papers signed, and then went home to pick out names for the babies. Here's what I came up with:
Jonathan Christopher Parker
Ronnie May Parker

I don't much care for the girl middle name, but I can't think of a better one. And the boy's initials are J.C. so I'm going to combine them and call him Jace, after his father. Lame, so this post was pointless :D. UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHM, I want to tell Cristy-annnne that I love her, along with Dawnsters, Alexander, and Brooks :).

Let's Fall In Love, It Sounds So Fun!

"You are free to visit Miss Anderson now," The nurse said, walking into the waiting room. Everyone stood up but I told them to sit back down.
"I'm going to see her first, then you kids can, okay?" I said, walking into her room behind the nurse. Cristy was laying in bed, looking bored out of her mind.
"Well hello Brenana!" Cristy smiled. I put my hand up to stop her from talking.
"Just shut up." I mumbled. "Cristy, why did you do it? Did you not think about your baby AT ALL?! Yes, I know she's okay now. But if that kid hadn't have brought you here...you both could have died. Did you not think? I know you were doing it to get back at them...for what they did to Soph. But she was fine, she was going to be fine the whole time. You could have gotten yourself killed! What do you think that would've done to me, or her, or even Luke?!" I screamed.
"Bre, I'm so -" But I stopped her. I gave her the biggest hug ever and gave her a jumbo box of goldfish.
"I forgive you." I laughed. "Now, I'm going to go tell your tour friends that you're okay!"
"Tell Alex I said hi!" Cristy laughed, winking.
"Will do!" I smiled, walking back into the waiting room.
AND THERE'S MY POST FOR CRISTY!

Dear Mark, Stella Is A Whore And Is Only With You Because You're Hot.

"MARK!" I yelled, walking into his room. He was still asleep. I crawled on the bed and jumped up and down, waking him up. He woke up, and got out of bed. Oh, the best part is he sleeps naked -.- . "PUT SOME GOD DAMN CLOTHES ON MARKUS!" I screamed covering my eyes and walking out of the room as he got ready. "Bre, shouldn't you be leaving for school soon...?" Mark asked once he was dressed and ready. "I don't feel good. Call in for me." I answered, putting Baz in my lap as I ate cereal. "No, you're going to school!" Mark yelled. "I've been throwing up all morning Mark! I am NOT going to school. Call in for me, dammit!" I yelled, making Baz flinch. "Why are you throwing up?" Mark asked. "Morning sickness." I answered, feeling myself starting to puke again. I dropped my bowl and ran into the bathroom, throwing up. Mark came in and held my hair back. "What's the number to the school?" Mark sighed. He called in and then left for work....wherever he works. I called Andrew and asked him to come over, so we could be all romantic and stuff. Lucky for me he was off this week for thanksgiving. "Hey Bre." He smiled, walking into the house. "Andrew!" I smiled, my stomach got all tingly. "Morning sickness?" He asked. I nodded and we sat on the couch. "Let's watch a movie." I smiled. We put in the fourth Harry Potter for it was the only one I could seem to find. "Oh Ronald is quite attractive in this one. So is Harry. The dorky kid is kind of cute in his own dorky way. Malfoy is kind of hot too. But not that Cedric kid, oh how I hate Robert Pattenson." "Bre," "Yes?" "Will you please quit talking about how hot other guys are?" "Oh, like you don't think Hermoine is hot, or that asian chick. Or the blonde. Or....or...." "I don't Bre." "What?" "I don't think they are hot, I don't think anyone else is hot except for you." "Loser." "I'm serious Bre." "I know." "Then why am I a loser." "Because, you're the only guy I know who can be that sweet and actually mean it, and not be lying to get into someone's pants. But it's okay, I love losers." "Oh?" "Yes, see. I love you, loser." "I love you too, dork." "Hey! I'm not a dork!" "I can be a loser but you can't be a dork?" "Exactly." and this is how our conversation went on, only it was much longer and lasted for a few hours until Mark got home. "Bre, I'm home!" "Oh hello dear Markus, Andrew's here. We're just going to go up to my room!" I smiled as he walked into the living room. "Why is Andrew here?" Mark asked. "I'm dating him, aduh." I laughed. "Bre, you know how I feel about the Brumleys." Mark said. "I know, but you're going to have to get over it. You know how I feel about Stella and you proceeded to marry her. I love Andrew, and I don't care what you say Mark. I'll be down to make dinner later." and that was the day I started having preggo morning sickness. And I spent the day with Andrew. and I told Mark he's a fat tubby old maid and his wife is a whore and she's only with him because he's hot. The End.

P.S. I only posted this so Soda would have something to read :DDD.

I love Cristy, and Gaskank, and Barakitten.

So, I was really excited about going on tour with Cristy, even if it was only for a week, it was still a lot of fun. So, the very first day she introduced me to all the bands, including All Time Low. It was amazing, seeing my lover in front of me :p. The only thing I could say was "Hi" i was unbelievably starstruckk. But after Cristy smacked me and told me to get a hold of myself, it was fine, and I could be myself around them. Turns out, we had a lot in common.
I basically spent all my time talking to Alex, or staring at him and Jack when they weren't looking at me, it was really fun :p. I played Super Mario Kart with Jack a lot, and he made a big speech about you don't always get the waterfall shortcut, it was really cute. I liked to just walk around and talk to Alex, he was so easy to get along with. He wasn't this big douche everyone said he was :p.
My favorite part was when Cristy let me introduce the bands on stage every night. The last night I was there, Alex came out onto the stage with me. We made jokes at each other, and it was a lot of fun. After the show Alex took me to a hotel, the same one Cristy and Luke were at. I'm pretty sure I saw the two lovebirds as Alex pulled me into a room. It started out as simple kissing...and it turned into something else.
I woke up the next morning, laying next to a naked sleeping Gaskarth. My phone was ringing softly beside me. I answered it. "Bre, it's time to go honey." Cristy's voice echoed in my ear. I looked over at Alex, not wanting to leave just yet. I leaned over and woke up the Gaskarth beast. "Alex, wake up. I have to leave." I whispered, pushing him off the bed. He landed on the ground with a thud. He looked up at me, angry. "Nice sex hair." He smirked. I screamed and ran into the bathroom, grabbing my bag on the way so I could put on some clothes. I fixed my hair, and put on some new clothes. Alex kept walking in and out of the bathroom every now and then, getting ready too. We headed down to the bus and I met up with Cristy. "Time to go little guppy." Cristy smiled, patting my back. "Bye guys." I waved, hugging each of the boys I had come to known. We exchanged numbers, and I got in the car with Luke, ready to go home.
"Wait, Bre!" Alex yelled, walking over to the car. "Yep?" I asked. "We need to meet up sometime, and hang out." He smiled. I nodded. "Fo' Sho' Sir Gaskank." I laughed, realizing how close he and Mark looked :p. Then Jack walked over to the car. "Just remember Bre, you won't always get the waterfall shortcut in Mario Kart, but life goes on." He smiled. "I love you Jackary." I laughed, messing up his hair. "BYE KIDS!" I yelled, waving bye as Luke drove us home. We sang along to All Time Low, Cobra Starship, and The Maine on the way home. Thank god I supplied the entertainment on this carride. AND THAT, MY DEARS, WAS MY MAGICAL ADVENTURE WITH CRISTAAAY ON TOUUUR. :) COMMENT HOES.

Nobody Gets Me Like You Do

After a really awful day of school, I wanted to come home and relax with Jay. But instead, I walked in on Jay and some whore. "Jay, what the hell?!" I screamed. "Oh shit, Bre, I'm so sorry." He apologized, getting the whore off of him. He tried to pull me into a hug, but I smacked him. "Don't touch me. Jackass!" I yelled, walking around him and over to the whore. I punched her in the face. I started to get all of my things together, I still didn't have a lot over here since I just moved in, so it didn't take me long to get everything. "Bre, I'm sorry, please don't go." Jay pleaded as I walked out of the front door. I ignored him and kept walking. As soon as I was away from him, I started crying.
I started my walk to Mark's house, since Cristy wasn't home and all. I ran into someone on the way though. "Bre? What happened? Are you okay?" He asked. I looked up. It was Andrew. "I'm fine." I whispered, trying to stop the tears. "No you aren't." He shook his head, pulling me in for a hug. I hugged him back. "So, what happened?" Andrew asked, pulling out of our hug. Instead he took my hand and started walking me to Mark's. "I walked in on Jay and some whore." I answered. "I'm so sorry Bre. He's a fucking prick." Andrew narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, I guess. What has Andrew been up to?" I asked, trying to change the subject. "Good. He's been smoking pot, getting drunk, having sex with random chicks, watching his life waste away...missing Breanna." He smiled. "That's so weird...Breanna misses Andrew too." I smiled. "Bre, I don't want you leaving me again." He whispered. "I won't, I promise. I was an idiot to leave you in the first place." I smiled. "So Bre...will you go out with me and try our love again?" He asked. "You're so weird, but yes." I laughed. By now we were at Mark's house. "I have to go now," I laughed. "I know, but I'll come see you later?" I heard the door open and close behind us and saw Mark was outside. "Yeah, I have to go explain things to Mark now. Bye Andrew." I smiled, kissing him. I walked into Mark's house, and explained everything to him. I'm pretty sure he was angry about both things, what Jay did, and the fact that I'm dating Andrew again. But I don't really care anymore. I think I'm finally on the right track in my life. :)

We're Just Trying To Find Some Color, In This Black&White World

"I hate it here." I groaned, slamming my head against the bar. "Hate's a strong word, missy." The bartender replied, giving someone a beer. I gave him one of those shut-the-fuck-up-I-wasn't-talking-to-you-looks and hopped off my stool, leaving the bar. "I hate you." I mumbled, walking out of the front door. I saw a bunch of little kids in their Halloween costumes running around. I smiled and started my walk home. I saw Cale and Dawn, along with Kyle and Brooklyn, Andrew was with them. Cale and Kyle kept calling me over but I ignored them, continuing my journey home.
Jay's car wasn't there when I finally walked up the driveway. I shook my head and walked into the house. I had one missed call from Cristy and one from Jay. I called Jay back and he said he had to work late. As soon as I hung up the phone I threw it against the wall, sinking to the ground.
"Yeah, 'work'." I scoffed, starting to cry. Then my phone started to ring, and I reached for it, pressing the little green button. "Hello?" I asked , trying to sound like I hadn't been crying two minutes earlier. "McChicken, what's wrong? You sound sad." Cristy's voice asked. "Nothing's wrong, I think I have a cold." I lied, "Why are you calling?" "Well, I was wondering, do you wanna come up for a week?" Cristy asked. I didn't even have to think about it. "YES!" I answered. "I just need to get packed and I'll leave as soon as possible." Then I hung up the phone and started getting my things together. I pulled my suitcase out to my car, grabbing all of my cd's. Once everything was packed into my car I left Jay a note, and then set out for wherever Cristianne is located.

I got to wherever Cristy was in the next 7 hours. She was waiting for me outside of a hotel, with a big smile on her face and her preggo belly looking extra fabulous. "MCMUFFIN!" I yelled, running up to her. "Hey McChicken." She laughed. I gave her an awkward hug and then parked my car. I got my things and we went up to her room. "Cris, we may have a problem." I said out of nowhere. "And that would be...?" She asked. "I think I'm a bit burnt out on goldfish." I replied. Her eyes got wide and she looked like she had just seen a ghostie. "JUST KIDDING." I smiled. "Good!" Cristy smiled, putting a hand over her heart. "You scared me to death kiddo."
"I missed you PIC." I smiled, giving her another awkward hug. :)

I Can't Confess, My Rock And Roll Ways.

So, everyone's getting a tattoo, and so I decided I would get one :D. After arguing with both Jay and Mark about it, I called up Caleb and told him to come pick me up and take me. He said okay, and showed up like 038u4092523953825093850938249038490385908205832095389 minutes later. "CALE :DDD!" I screamed, jumping into the car. "BARBIE!" Cale yelled, starting our journey to the tattoo place. We drove, and drove, and drove and drove for quite a while before we pulled up outside of it.

"Is it gonna hurt Cale?" I asked as we walked inside. Like his brothers, he had many tattoos, because that's just how them Brumley kids are born. "Nope," He smiled, dragging me to the back. There was a very very very attractive fellow, who was going to do my tattoo. I know wish I was going to do my tattoo somewhere sexy instead of on my feet :(. I gave the guy one of my feet and the tattoo I wanted, he smiled. "All Time Low?" He asked. I nodded, smiling. "I love them." I laughed. "Me too!" He cheered. He got started on my tattoo, which didn't hurt as badly as I had expected it too. As I was getting tattooed, Cale kept showing me different tattoos, for "future references" as he put it. I found one that I absolutely ADORED, and I had to get it! So once the guy was done with my first one, I showed him the second one and where I wanted it. He got to work on it, and the next thing I know, I'm all bandaged up and Cale's taking me home. Jay was a little made about me getting two tattoos, but I think he got over it :). Anyways, Ima put a picture of my tats on herrrrr. :DDD

Oh Darlin' Don't You Ever Grow Up

Tonight I decided to watch Blaze, to let Blair and Dallas have a night to themselves to do...whatever they do. I headed over to Blair's house at about 6:00, but stopped at Jay's work on the way. I walked into the music shop and found Jay behind the counter.
"Hey Jay, I won't be home till late, I'm watching Blaze." I smiled, looking around the store. I saw Taylor Swift's new CD and picked it up. I threw it on the counter and Jay looked up.
"Oh, hey Bre." I laughed, taking the CD and ringing it up. He threw it in a bag, and handed it to me as I gave him the money for it. "Do you want this old acoustic? They were gonna throw it away and..."
"Yes!" I smiled, taking it out of his hand and hugging it.
"Okay then," He laughed, kissing my cheek. "See ya later babe," Then he looked at my middle. "See you later baby." He waved at it and I laughed, walking out of the store. I opened my CD and listened to it on the way to Blair's house, (I don't know if they live at Dal's or Blair's or what XD) I heard a really sweet song and kept replaying it, memorizing the lyrics.
Once I got to wherever Blaze and his parents were located, I grabbed the acoustic, my phone, my purse, and my ipod before walking into the house.
"Hey Bre!" Blair cheered, walking into the room, carrying Blaze.
"Hey Blair, hey Blaze!" I smiled. Blair mumbled something about how Dallas spent too much time getting ready and walked back into her room, coming out a few minutes later with the fatass himself.
"Thank you so much for doing this Bre, I mean it." Blair smiled, walking to the door with Dallas.
"Hey, no problem, I'm going to need to get used to kids anyways, this is like practice for me." I laughed waving goodbye to them as they walked out the door.
I sat down on the floor in front of Blaze. My legs were crossed and my elbows were on my knees, my head resting in my hands. Blaze sat up straight across from me, staring right back at me. This went on for a long time, before he started giggling. His spontaneous laughter made me smile, and then I tickled him, making him laugh even more.
"Are you hungry Blaze?" I asked, catching my breath. He nodded and I picked him up, carrying him into the kitchen. I found something for him to eat and you know...prepared it. I had it on a plate, but before I got it over to him, I tripped on something and the food went all over the table, getting on my face and all over Blaze. He started doing that cute little laugh again and I smiled, making him more food and being more careful this time.
After he ate, he needed to have a bath. I took him into the bathroom and turned on the water in the tub, making sure it wasn't too hot for him. I gave him a bath and he giggled and played with the bubbles. I smiled and picked him out a cute little outfit to sleep in. As soon as he got out of the tub and he was all dried off, he was yawning.
I smiled and took him into his room, laying him in his crib. I picked up the acoustic, remembering how the song I heard earlier went. I started playing, smiling at Blaze.
"Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
and it's so quiet in the world tonight
your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming
so I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny
you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
if you could stay like that

Oh darlin' don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up
just stay this little
Oh darlin' don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up
it could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you
won't let nobody break your heart
and no one will desert you
just try to never grow up
never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
and you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
at 14, there's just so much you can't do
and you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
but don't make her drop you off around the block
remember, she's getting older too
and don't lose that way you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school

Oh darlin' don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up
just stay this little
Oh darlin' don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up
it could stay this simple

No one's ever burned you
nothing's ever left you scarred
and even though you want to...
please try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
memorize what it sounds like when your dad gets home
remember the footsteps, remember the words said
and all your little brothers favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone...

So here I am, in my new apartment
in a big city, they just dropped me off
it's so much colder than I thought it would be
so I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown
Oh I don't wanna grow up
I wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh, I dont wanna grow up
wish I'd never grown up
it could still be simple

Oh darlin' don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up
just stay this little
oh darlin' don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up
it could stay this simple

Won't let nobody hurt you
won't let nobody break your heart
and even though you want to
please try to never grow up
oh, don't you ever grow up
oh, never grow up
just never grow up."
I played the last chord and Blaze was fast asleep, I smiled to myself and kissed his forehead. I turned around to go wait in the living room for Blair and Dal, but they were standing in the doorway.
"That was beautiful Bre." Blair smiled, walking over to me and Blaze, she looked down at him and smiled.
"Thanks for letting me watch him, he's a really good kid. You and Dal are obviously doing something right." I laughed, lightly punching Dal on the arm as I walked out of the room.
I think I'm ready for my baby now, thank you Blair, :) I hope I can be as good of a mother as you. You really are a great mom, Blaze is a lucky kid.

And you'll never know, that I am lying through my teeth

Yesterday was a very important day for my brother and uhm...the thing he got married to. :) Any who, since I'm his sister and all, I had to make a speech at his wedding. Now, we all know I'm not smart enough to write an entire speech, so I had Kitty right it for me. :D

After the wedding, at the beginning of the after party shit, everyone had to give their speech. And I walked up to the little stand thingy with the piece of paper Kit had given me this morning, ready to make a speech that was a complete lie.
"People get married because they fall in love. But what is love? Love is highly misunderstood although deeply desirable. A malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain. When you're in love, you realize you have this ability to love someone more than you love yourself. Giving your heart to someone, now that's the scary part" I started nervously, staring at the paper in my hands. I looked up at the gang, sitting in tables across the room. My eyes landed on Jay, and I smiled, starting again. "Love is when someone cares for you. When someone waits. When someone dreams about you. When you're all they think about. When they have looked for you their whole life and they have finally found you. Love is when someone loves you. Simple as that. Mark and Stella. What these two people sitting in front of me share, is not perfect. But nothing ever is. We shouldn't wait around for perfection because it doesn't exist. Making it right is what makes it so special. Feelings, like people, are perfect the way they are. Like some would say, Mark and Stella are perfectly imperfect." At this point I was holding back puke, wondering how Kitty could write something like this. But I kept reading, just so I could end this and sit back down in my seat. "Seeing my brother here on this special day makes me believe that there is still a tiny crazy thing he claims as love. He's taught me the most important lesson in my life, and that is to take a risk. He did and he fell in love. I can only turn to look at him and say: You were right, bro. I am nothing but grateful to him, because despite the stormy days, he's always managed to lift my feet up from the ground. Thank you, brother. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous but there is so much more to it. I am thankful. Thankful that he found someone who loves him as much as I do and who will take care of him like I do. And I just hope that with time, I will find someone who is as worthy of me, as Stella is of my dear brother, Mark Parker. Congratulations." I ended, getting out from behind the stand thingy.

"That was so sweet Bre, thank you so much. I'm glad to be apart of your family now." Stella smiled, moving to hug me, but I backed up and looked over at Mark.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes and went back to my seat. The next person went up to make their speech as I sat in my seat, hating this day more and more. I kept wishing I could drink, but I wasn't going to. "Hey Jay?" I asked, turning to Jay.

"Yeah?" He asked, sitting up.

"I'm really tired, do you wanna just head home?" I asked. Jay nodded and we left in the middle of Darry's speech.

But I wanna thank Kitty for making me want to commit suicide with that speech, love you Kitters ;)

It's Time To Check Up On My Baby ♥

It's been a week since I got the news that I was pregnant, and now it was time to go to my first check up, I was going to hear my baby's heartbeat. Cristy was in town, and since she's already been through this, I wanted her to go with me. I also promised Jamie she could go, since she was the first to know about it.
So this morning me and Jay picked up Cristy and James and headed to the doctors office. I was so nervous...but it was a happy nervous, I was excited. Jay was smiling like an idiot in the front seat and I knew he was just as happy as I was about this, and that made me even happier. The last thing I wanted was for Jay to regret this, and the look on his face assured me that he didn't.
"Jay," I smiled, looking at him. "I love you." "I love you too," He smiled, leaning over to kiss me, but Cristy and Jamie stopped him. "WHOA BUDDY! Not when we're in the car, please and thank you!" Jamie yelled. "She loves me more anyways Jay, she always has." Cristy winked, pulling some goldfish out of her purse. "OH MY MOTHER FUCKING GOLDFISH!" I screamed, grabbing the bag and stuffing a handful in my mouth. "Real classy in front of your hubby there Breanna." Jamie smirked. "He doesn't care." I replied with a mouthful of the tasty cheddar fishies. After the first handful I couldn't quit eating them. "THE BABY LOVES GOLDFISH TOO!" I screamed happily.
By now we were pulling into the doctors office parking lot and Jay was laughing his ass off. "Come on kids, it's time to go hear Jasey's heart beat." I smiled. "Or Jack's." Jay added. "Yeah, or Jack's." We walked into the doctors office and the secretary woman led us back to a room where there was a machine. The doctor was waiting for us. I had to pull my pants down a little, and then lay down on a bed thing. He put the jelly crap on my stomach and moved the little thinger ma jig around and soon a little blob popped up on the screen and then I heard a little thump thump. It was my baby.
"Jay, it's our baby." I felt myself starting to cry, but they were happy tears. "I know," He smiled leaning down beside me. Cristy and Jamie were smiling in the back of the room. :p
After that we took Jamie and Cristy home and went back to Jay's house.
"I can't wait until we know what it is." Jay smiled. "It's a baby." I laughed. He gave me one of those, you-know-what-I-mean looks. I smiled and kissed him. "I hope it's a boy." :)

Jay's Birthday;&People I love. :D

This morning I woke up way before Jay, and it was his birthday so I decided to wake him up with breakfast. :D just. kidding. I can't cook, so instead I decided to jump on the bed to wake him up. After what seemed like 10 minutes he finally woke up.
"Bre, what are you doing?" He asked, grabbing my leg and making me fall on top of him.
"Good morning love." I smiled. "Happy Birthday."
"Thanks babe," he laughed, "but you couldn't let me sleep in on my birthday?"
"Nope!" I cheered, climbing out of the bed and dragging him out too.
"Where are we going?" He asked.
"Go get ready, I have something planned." I smiled. I left the house knowing he would take forever in the shower. I went over to Jamie's. I talked to her and we planned something for Jay's birthday.
"Hey Bre!" Jamie smiled, getting in my car and riding with me to Bucks.
"Call Mark, he knows what kind of stuff guys like." I laughed. Jamie called Mark and he showed up at Bucks a few minutes later.
"So, what are we doing?" Mark asked.
"We're throwing Jay a surprise party!" Jamie cheered.
"Yeah, what she said. But we need your help...you know what guys like." I laughed.
"Guys like girls." Mark answered proudly, like he discovered something new.
"Holy smokes benji, no way." I replied sarcastically. "Just help us."
After all day of getting shit together it was like 10, so I went home to get Jay. He was watching tv on the couch.
"Jay, come on, I need your help with something." I whined, grabbing his hand and trying to get him to come with me.
"No Bre, you left earlier. This has been the worst birthday ever, I'm staying here." He shook his head.
"Fuck, just come with me!" I yelled.
"Can't we just stay home? It can't be that important." He sighed.
"YOU'RE COMING WITH ME, NOW LETS GO." I yelled, smiling innocently.
"Fine," He agreed, "But you owe me later. ;)"
"I know, I know." I laughed. We got in my car and drove alllllllll the way to Buckle's house. :) I hoped on Jay's back and put my hands over his eyes, so it would be a surprise.
"Bre, I can't walk if I can't see where I'm going." Jay laughed.
"Oh right." I agreed, gettting off of his back and making him cover his eyes. I pulled him into Buck's place and everyone yelled "SURPRISE." all loud like and stuff.
"Bre, did you do this, all day?" Jay asked, after thanking everyone for coming.
"Yep, and you were mad at me." I nodded.
"Sorry about that, you know I love you." He laughed,
"You better." I smiled.
"Happy Birthday boo.," I smiled kissing Jay.
"Thanks." He smiled.
Pretty much everyone got hella smashed and we all partied, because we seem to do that whenever there is alcohol around :D I also want to add that I love the following people:
Jamie
Cristay
Dawn
Jayson
Mark
Carson
Soap
Pones
Caleb
Austin's pretty geee
Darrel
Blair
Stella
Katie
Dallas [sex]
Johnny
Lukas my bwff :D
Buckle
Blazeee
Evie!!!! who I miss D:
Steven (obviously)
Emma who disappeared. :p
Jelly
Dimitri
Kitty
Andrew
and I think that's everyone...oh, that's a lot of people XD I would also like to add that I love old Two-Bit, yeah, I needed to say it :D Booby can burn in hell.! Woohooo. the end ♥

MONTANA,

meeee :D
Jamiiiie :D
SO. The other night, some shit went down with James, and she wanted to get away for a while. Just to think some things through, and find herself so she could make some big decisions. She only wanted her bestest friend with her, so she asked if I would go. And I agreed to, being the amazing friend that I am. :D
We left last night, at the moment we are in a hotel room in...Kansas I think...unless we're in South Dakota...I don't know, I wasn't paying attention :D We've been taking loads of pictures so you guys can keep up with us ;). I'll upload them on facebook, but I'm gonna put a few from in the car on this post, cute right? I know we are :)
So, James is gonna post after me I believe, we love you guys and we'll be back uber soon!!

"Bre, are you all packed and ready to go?" Jay asked, walking into my room at Cristy's house. I nodded and grabbed my purse, before walking down stairs and out to Jay's car. Sophie followed us out.

"Soph, please let me believe that I can trust you here alone." I begged, closing my eyes.
"I promise Bre, chill. I'm 16, I'm capable of watching myself." She laughed. I opened my eyes and gave her a hug before getting into the car and leaving for Las Vegas with Jayson for our honeymoon.

That was a week ago. Now I'm laying on the couch at Cristy's wondering how in the hell this happened to me.
"Bre, babe. You need to get up." Jay sighed, walking into the room to sit next to me on the couch. I shook my head and looked away from him.
"Never."
"Bre."
"Nope."
"Breanna."
"Go away."
"Breanna Lynn Woods."
"What?" I asked, turning to face Jayson again.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." He frowned, hugging me.
"It's fine, I'm kinda happy about it...it's just...so soon..." I whispered, kissing his cheek.
"You're happy?" He asked. I nodded. "Good, I'm not the only one."
"I bet everyone else will be furious..." I sighed, getting up off the couch. I picked up my phone and dialed Jamie's number.
"Hey hey Bre." Jamie cheered from the other end.
"James, I have important news..." I trailed off.
"Hmmmm?" She asked.
"I'm pregnant.." I replied.

THAT'S THE END. wow..this was a really bad post. :( I didn't know how else to say it..really, I didnt.

It's Driving Me Crazy It Seems, I'm Gonna Ask Her To Marry Me.

"Bre, you home?" Jay asked, walking into Cristy's house a few days ago. I had to stay there with Soffie while she was gone :p "Yeah," I answered from inside my old room upstairs. I was watching The Last Song and I didn't want to get up. Jayson walked into my room a few minutes later and laid down beside me on the bed. "What are you watching?" He asked, wrapping an arm around me. "The Last Song, it's so sweet." I smiled, turning to kiss his cheek. "I guess." He shrugged. "It is!" I laughed, turning it off and sitting up. "Why is it so sweet?" He asked, sitting up beside me. "I like how they're so in love..after only knowing each other for a short time. It's just sweet." I smiled, shrugging. "Like us?" Jay asked, I looked at him and nodded. "Like us." I agreed, taking his hand in mine. He whispered something in my ear and I smiled and nodded, kissing him, before running to the phone. I dialed Jamie's number since Cristy was out of town, and told her the good news.

"JAMIE! Guess what!!" I screamed into the reciever. "What?!" She screamed back. "Jay asked me that one question!" I screamed. There was silence before I heard Jamie scream. "OH MY GOD BRE!!!! I BETTER BE FUCKING INVITED. OR ELSE!" She screamed. "I think we're going to do it in Vegas..so no one is invited." I replied sadly. "NO! Have it here! I'll get it all worked out, trust me. You and Jay just have to show up!" She cheered before hanging up. I sighed to myself and turned to face Jayson. He smiled and laughed before giving me a hug and saying he had to leave.

This morning I was rudely awaken by Dawn and Jamie. "BREEEEE! Wake up honey! It's a big day today!" Jamie cheered, walking into my room. "Jamie, go away!" I replied, almost asleep. "NEVER!" Dawn yelled, pulling me off of the bed and onto the floor. "Ow?!" I screamed, opening my eyes and sitting up. "Sorry there Brenana, but today is an important day." Dawn smiled. I cocked an eyebrow and looked at Jamie. "You told her?" I asked , standing up. Jamie nodded proudly and I rolled my eyes. "We convinced everyone to come too, aren't you proud?" Jamie laughed. I was kind of proud, it must have taken forever to talk to everyone and convince them to show up. "Very." I smiled. Jamie grabbed my arm and pulled me downstairs. On the back of the couch there were three dresses, mine, Jamie's, and Dawn's. "Too bad Cristy isn't here." I sighed, picking up my dress. I took it upstairs and tried it on. It was beautiful. "Bre? Do you have it on?" Dawn asked through the door. I opened it and heard Dawn and Jamie gasp. "BRE! You look amazing! I'm so jealous of Jayson!" Jamie laughed, standing beside me in the mirror. "You look lovely my little sea dweller!" Dawn smiled, standing on the other side of me. "I love it guys, thank you so much, it's perfect!" I gushed, hugging them both. Jamie pulled out her phone and said she had to go return a phone call. A few minutes later she came back in and said we had to do my hair and make-up and then leave.

"Who called James?" I asked as we got into the car to go. "Soda. I put him in charge of the guys. He's been through this already, and he's a lot more mature than the other guys." Jamie answered. "Oh, what'd he say?" I asked. "That the guys are ready." Dawn said, turning on the radio. "Oh. Where..." I started but Jamie cut me off. "Bre, quit asking questions. We're here." She smiled, pulling into some church parking lot. I didn't pay much attention. "We have to hurry, the guys are already at the alter. Run!" Dawn said, sounding a bit worried. We ran inside and Jamie and Dawn left me to go to the alter. Mark was waiting by the door.

"Bre, you can wait you know." Mark sighed, holding his elbow out for me. "You know I don't like to wait." I smiled, kissing my brother on the cheek. "I love you Bre, and I'm very happy for you. I'm just going to miss having you around." Mark sighed as the music started playing. "I'll visit all the time, you'll barely even know I'm gone. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon." I smiled as Soda and Katie opened the doors to the main part of the church [honest to god, i forgot what it's called XD i know it, i just cant think of it.] Jay was standing at the alter, smiling like an idiot. Mark walked me up to him and then took a seat beside Stella. Then the preacher man said his stuff, and we said our vowes. "You may now kiss the bride." The preacher man smiled. Jay dipped me back and kissed me. There were a lot of aw's from the crowd, and when I opened my eyes and looked out at the entire gang...I knew this was right. I was happy to have all of my friends and family there..minus Cristian, because she's too busy having fun with Cobra Starship :(. I even saw Steven crying on Blair's shoulder. p.s. you all look way better from up on stage, just sayin :p.

After the wedding reception was over I'm pretty sure everyone was drunk. I tried my best to stay sober so I could remember my wedding night, but it wasn't working out for me. Jay carried me back to Cristy's house and we sat in my room for three hours just smiling at each other. "I love you." He finally said, breaking the silence. "I love you too." I smiled, leaning in to kiss him. I'm going to end it here, because I don't know what else to say. :)

My shitty post. :)

"You're gonna be alone for the rest of your life if you keep doing this Bre!" Andrew screamed, walking out of Mark's house.
"I know," I sighed to myself, looking down at my bare ring finger. "I know." I felt a warm tear slide down my cheek, and I immediately started to regret the decision I had made a few days earlier. But Andrew was right. I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. I take everything for granted and treat it like shit. My friends, my family, my boyfriends...all of it.
It's not like I date guys just to leave them...it's different. I never know what I want, and in my desperate endeavor to find the person that is meant for me I am positive that he just walked out my front door.
I couldn't even think straight, so I decided to take a walk. It was cloudy and stormy outside, exactly like my mood. I walked past the park, past Bucks, past the train tracks, and out to where the trees and open fields are. Out to where it's quite, and peaceful. I sat down at the bottom of a tree and let the tears fall, this way no one could see me cry.
I don't know how long I sat there like that, with my knees pulled close to my body, and my head resting on my knees. I just know it was dark when I finally ran out of tears. I was soaked from the rain, but it was okay. I started my walk back home and was half way there when I ran into Jayson.
"Bre?" He asked. I nodded and sighed as he walked over to me and hugged me. "What are you doing out here like this?"
"I talked to Andrew today, I got real emotional. I needed to take a walk, it started raining on me." I frowned, getting closer to him. He slung an arm around my shoulders.
"Come on, I'll take you home." He smiled, kissing my forehead. I shook my head, but smiled anyways.
"I'm gonna go see Kyle...we haven't talked in a while..I miss him." I smiled, hugging Jayson around the waist, loving how comfortable I was around him.
"Oh? Okay, I'll walk you over there then. Just to make sure you're safe." He smiled. I liked how he didn't mind me hanging out with Kyle. I smiled as we continued to walk. It was silent, but it was the comfortable kind. :) Once we got to Kyle's house, Jay kissed me and said if I needed him I could call him. I smiled and waved goodbye as I knocked on The Brumley's front door. Kyle answered. I held back a laugh at the way he was dressed. He was in his skinny jeans, only they were riding low, and you could see his bright red boxers that had the word 'Naughty' written across them in white, and he wasn't wearing a shirt.
"Hey Bre." He smiled, all stupid like.
"Hey kid." I smiled, walking into the house. He put his hand out to stop me. "Don't tell me you hate me too." I narrowed my eyes.
"No, I don't. But Andrew's home and he is P-I-S-S-E-D." He laughed. I laughed too and grabbed his shirt off the couch. I threw it at him.
"Put this on, and grab some drugs. I wanna get fucked up." I laughed. He put the shirt on and ran into his room. He came back with a handful of things, I noticed the weed and some needles, he must have had heroine.
"I got the good stuff, I know how much you like it." He winked and walked outside with me. He stuffed the drugs in his pockets and we walked down the sidewalk. Every now and then he'd swerve and bump into me, causing me to lose my balance and almost fall.
"So, you wanna tell me what happened?" Kyle asked, breaking the silence. I looked up at him.
"Not really." I replied, emotionless.
"And why not?" He asked, "I thought we were best friends."
"Well...we are...but, it's your brother after all. And, it's just weird, talking to you about it and all." I shrugged.
"I understand." He nodded. "But, I'm always here for you Bre.." He stopped walking and stopped me too. He grabbed my arm and turned me so I was looking right at him. "I'll always be here." He looked me straight in the eyes and I knew I could trust him with anything, even with my life.
I was about to say something when I heard police sirens going off, and the next few minutes were a blur to me. The cop was in front of me and he was searching Kyle, he found the drugs, and I saw him get the handcuffs out. I stopped him.
"They're mine!" I screamed, "I had him hold them because my shorts pockets wont fit all of them. They're mine, don't arrest him." The police officer thought it over for a minute and stopped handcuffing Kyle. Kyle looked like a deer in headlights, too shocked to say or do anything.
The police officer slapped the handcuffs on me and went over the whole "Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law..." blah blah blah. I got in the backseat of the police car and took one last look at Kyle, he was still shocked. I smiled to myself and stared out the window as we drove down to the station.
I was only in there a grand total of two hours before a police officer came back and let me out, claiming that my brother was here for me. I walked into the station lobby, thinking of all the ways Mark would yell at me. But when I got out there, it wasn't Mark that was standing there. It was Kyle. I smiled and walked over to him. He gave them the bail money and they gave me a warning, blah blah blah.
Me and Kyle started our walk home, or well..to Mark's house. I decided to talk.
"Thank's Kyle." I smiled. He just looked at me and smiled back.
"No, thank you Bre." He laughed, running his hand through his hair. "Only a best friend would do something like that."
"Why do you think we're best friends then? Just because it's fun to call you that?" I laughed, we were at Mark's house now. Kyle walked me up to the door and gave me a hug.
"Thank's again Bre." He smiled, as we waited for Mark to open the door.
"No problem, thank you too." I laughed, "Wait, does he know?" I asked. Kyle shook his head as Mark opened the door. I waved goodbye to Kyle and walked inside, ignoring Mark yelling at me for hanging out with him.
I went upstairs and sat on my bed. I thought about all that happened today..and knew then that I can live life without Andrew Brumley. xx

I Was Fine Before You Walked Into My Life

"Breanna Parker?" I heard someone ask from behind me. I stopped laughing with Cristy and turned around to face a girl about a year older than me. She had brown side-swept hair, and green eyes. "Uhm, yeah. That's me, what of it?" I asked. "I'm your long lost sister, Whitney Parker." She smiled. I narrowed my eyes at her and stood up, walking out of The Dingo. This was the girl Mark had told me about. Was this supposed to be some cruel joke? It wasn't funny. I didn't want or need an older sister. My life was fine before she showed up.
"Bre, listen to me. I was put up for adoption by our parents. I'm sorry to just barge into your life like this....but you and Mark are the only family I have left." Whitney sounded like she was on the verge of tears. I sighed and turned to look at her. "How about we go clubbing, to get to know each other?" She optioned. I agreed, and soon we were at a club. After a few drinks she saw the bandage on my arm. "What happened Bre?" She asked. "Well....I guess you're my sister now, so it shouldnt hurt to tell you." Then I explained what happened with our father over the years, and I told her some other problems I was having in life. "So, I woke up in the hospital and the only people there were Cristy and Mark. No Andrew, but he decided to show up later, thinking it would all be okay. But it wasnt, so I broke up with him. Then Jayson comes along..and kisses me, and I don't know what to think about that." I ended. "Bre, everything will be okay..." She smiled. That's when I lost it, I was tired of everyone saying it was going to be okay. "NO! It isnt going to be okay! Nothing will ever be okay! I was happier when it was just Me and Mark and the Gang! No you! And no Stella! And no stupid boyfriends! And no abusive dad's! It was just us, our own little family, just brother and sister and all the people we ever needed to keep us moving! News flash, Whitney, it will never ever EVER be okay! Just...just get out of my life!" I screamed at her, running out of the club with Cristy.
Now that I think about it, I feel kind of bad for yelling at Whitey. [thats my new nickname for her] She didn't deserve it, she didnt know any better. So here's a little note to her : I'm sorry Whitey, love Bree.

Don't Let Me Get Away, We Could Use Each Other.

White room. Uncomfortable bed. Beeping machines. I looked down at the I.V. in my arm and cringed, I had always hated needles. There was a bandage on my wrist, and I wondered what had happened. I hadn't remembered anything up to when I passed out...except what my dad had said and done to me. I sat up in the hospital bed, and yawned.

"Bre?" I heard someone ask. I looked over at the corner of the room and saw Mark and Cristy. I smiled at them."Hey," I smiled as Mark stood up and ran a hand through his hair.

"God Bre, you had me worried to death, I thought I lost you." He frowned, scooting me over and sitting on the bed beside me.

"Hey McChicken," Cristy smiled. "How are you?"
"Fine, what even happened?" I asked. I noticed Mark move around, nervous.
"Well...dad came by the house, and you were at home alone." Mark started, "He said some things to you, and tried to rape you. But I came into the house before he could do anything worse than cutting you a few times. You couldn't take it and you cut yourself on a major vein...you passed out from the blood lost. I was so scared, I thought I lost you Bre."
"I'm sorry Mark," I frowned, hugging him. "How could I forget that...?"
"Miss Parker?" A male voice asked from the doorway, Me and Mark turned to look at him. The doctor was standing in the door, with another man. "May we speak with you?" I nodded and they walked in and sat in the chairs. Cristy got up and left, saying she would be back soon.
"Miss Parker, Mr. Parker, we have something we need to...tell you about." The doctor said, "The judge here, Mr. Birchler, and myself think that under your circumstances, you should be signed into therapy. Meaning, you will have to go to therapy." I opened my mouth to object but he stopped me. "I know you don't want to go to therapy, most people don't. But this will be good for you, believe me. I'll let you two talk about it, and decide when you want to start attending your sessions." He smiled and walked out the door, taking the judge with him.
"I knew it," Mark shook his head, "I knew you'd have to go to therapy."
"Its fine Mark, I'll go." I shrugged, turning to the door again. Cristy walked in with Johnny, Jamie, Brooks, Dawn, Austin, Kyle, Blair, and Carson. I sighed at the absence of Andrew, and tried to put on my strong face, but it wasn't working out. "Hey guys."
"BRE! Are you okay?!" Jamie yelled, running over to me and giving me a hug.
"I'm fine Jamie." I lied, smiling.
"I should've been there Bre, we all should have!" Dawn frowned, giving me another hug.
"No guys, it's fine. Maybe it was supposed to happen, maybe there was a lesson that needed to be learned." I shrugged, not believing a word that I said. Everyone pretty much just apologized and hung around a little bit, before leaving to go to something better. Then the next group of people came in, Soda, Darry, Kitty, Katie, Pony, Stella, Kat, and Dallas. They did the same thing the others did, and then left. I hated being in the hospital, and I hated having so many people say sorry to me, it was starting to get old.
"I'm sorry Bre..." Cristy frowned.
"Cris, please, don't say that." I sighed.
"No, I'm sorry about Andrew. He didn't show up." Cristy sighed, sitting by me on the bed, Mark had left with Stella, so it was just me and her.
"It's fine." I lied, looking at the floor.
"No it isn't." Cristy argued.
"You're right, but its whatever. If he didn't want to come, he didn't have to, and he didn't." I shook my head, "He probably has to work anyways."
"He did, I called him and told him he needed to come see you, but he said he had to work. He needs to get money to buy your apartment, or that's what he says." Cristy nodded, "But Bre, he does love you."
"I know," I nodded, lying a bit. "But..." I was cut off when a nurse walked in and told Cristy that she had to go home.
"Bye McChicken." Cristy frowned, hugging me. "Get better."
"Bye Mcmuffin, and I'll try." I sighed. After she left I was stuck in my room, alone. It was boring, so I thought about the whole therapy thing. The All Time Low song Therapy kept playing in my head. I had always heard that therapy never did anything for you, and it was just a waste of time. I sighed and decided to sleep, thinking that would shut my mind up.
Before I could go to sleep the door opened and someone walked in, I didn't turn to see who it was though, I honestly didn't care. The person got in the bed with me and laid down, so I turned to see Andrew. I smiled at him.
"I'm sorry Bre," He whispered, "I should have been here with you, but I'm here now." I didn't even care that he said sorry to me, I was just glad that he was finally here.
"I love you." I smiled, curling up against him.
"I love you too," He whispered, kissing my forehead. "I always will." And then, I fell asleep, next to my wonderful fiance. I'm going to go to therapy, just to see if it helps. It probably won't, but it's okay. I'm also going to try to get my father sent to jail, it's hard to live everyday knowing he could get me at any moment. :/

OREO. :D

You've always been a pathetic excuse for a human being

"Stella's back in town, so we're going out tonight." Mark said. We were in his room. I was sitting on the floor playing with Bazz, and he was going through his closet. "Okay." I replied, not really caring about anything he said, I was too preoccupied with Bazz. "You can have Austin or someone over. I just dont want you here alone..okay?" He said, trying to get my attention. I absent mindedly nodded as I played tug-of-war with Sebastian. "I'll call him later." I mumbled, standing up and dragging Bazz out of the room as Mark changed into his gay ass suit.
After he and Stella left I called Austin, he was too busy with Brooks and said he couldnt come over. So I called Andrew, but he was working. Then I called Cristy, she had other things to do. Kyle and Blair were hanging out, Carson was going to "read", Dallas had Blaze again, Jamie and Johnny were on a date, Darry was with Lissa, Pony was being the third-wheel and was joining Jamie and Johnny on their date. Kit and Two-Bit were being a cute couple and they were taking a walk [bull shit, they were probably fucking], Soda and Katie just didnt want to, Evie was god knows where, and Dawn was asleep, Dimitri and Jelly were doing the couple thing too. So I was left at home, alone.
I probably watched every movie in the house by the time I heard the door open. I didnt bother looking at the clock, I just stood up and ran to the door, hoping it was Andrew and he was off of work. I was sadly mistaken. My dad was standing in the front hallway, with a knife in one hand, and a beer in the other.
"Oh, Bre, I knew JUST where to find you." He smirked, walking towards me, making me walk backwards, back into the living room. "No one's here to save you this time, good." I gulped and tried to grab something to hit him with, but failed miserably by tripping over the couch. He climbed over top of me and held the knife to my throat.
"BASTARD!" I yelled, but he smacked me across the face and lightly cut my neck.
"Dont talk to me like that!" He yelled, he cut my shirt in half, exposing my stomach and chest to him. I felt hot tears burn my eyes, but I held them back. This man would never see me break, never again. I smacked him across the face, which only rewarded me with a fresh cut on my stomach. "You little bitch!" He screamed in my face. "You never know when to do what someone tells you to do! You've always been a pathetic excuse for a human being! No one has ever, and no one will EVER love you! You'll die alone and old, and then, you'll rot in hell for making everyone else's lives miserable! Mark's nice enough to let you stay with him! I'm proud of him, no one else would be able to put up with you! No one WANTS to put up with you! Your mom never should've had you! You were the worst thing that every happened! To this family, and to the world!" He screamed, cutting me with every word he said, and every breath he took. I must've had 0239503275075093285094357023049370270973509723572305793275903270523709353057902735790 cuts on my body by the time I heard the window shatter. I turned to look at Mark, he was already cussing out my dad. I took that time to get away from him. I picked up Bazz and ran into the kitchen to hide under the table. I noticed earlier that my dad had kicked Bazz out of the way, and I wanted to make sure he was okay. I held him close as I silently watched my dad and Mark fight. Then they stopped, and I saw my dad pull a gun out of his cowboy boots. I gulped and held Bazz tighter.
"If ANYONE finds out about this....I'll kill both of you!" My dad yelled before leaving the house. I continued to hold back my tears as Mark walked over to me and got under the table. He moved to sit beside me. "Hey Banana." He fake smiled, trying to sound happy, but failing. "He's gone now, lets get out from under here, okay hun?" Mark optioned. I shook my head and kept quiet. "Come on Bre." Mark whined, taking Bazz out of my arms. I opened my mouth to say something, but didnt. My dad was right, no one should have to put up with me. Mark picked me up and carried me into the bathroom, I didnt try to fight him anymore, there was no use."You okay?" Mark asked, looking over my cuts. "What do you think?" I snapped, not wanting any help. My dad was right, I should die, so everyone would be happy. "I think we need more band-aids." Mark tried to be funny, but I rolled my eyes and kept quiet. "He hurt Bazz.." I whispered, feeling myself start to cry a little. "I'll check on him when I'm done with you. What happened?" he asked. Thats when I stopped being strong, and I started breaking down. "Everyone was doing something, so I was home alone...I dont remember when dad came in, I just remember him ontop of me on the couch and and how he'd cut me when I moved or tried to get away or fight back.....he kept saying I fucked everything up." I cried, scooting back towards the vanity mirror. My dad was right, I am a pathetic excuse for a human being. I shouldnt be alive, and my mom never shouldve had me, everyone would be happier with me gone. Mark shouldnt have to deal with me, no one should. I'm useless and stupid, I'm a bother and a pain, I should be dead. I shouldnt be here. I took one look at Mark before standing up and walking out of the bathroom, my cuts werent even fixed, but I didnt care. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife, before going into my room. "Bre! What are you doing in there with a knife?!" Mark screamed at me through the door. I sighed at how stupid he was, I didnt lock the damn thing. I put the knife against my arm, right where the main vein runs. I pressed down as hard as I could, cutting through the skin, watching the blood ooze out of the cut. I didnt realize I had screamed until Mark came running in asking why I screamed. I saw Mark's angry yet worried face, right before everything faded to black.

10 things I love about: Mark Parker.

10 – How he’s always there for me, no matter how many times I get mad and say I hate him, he’s always there to protect me.

9 – He’s a lot of fun, and he knows how to cheer me up.

8 – He’ll beat up anyone who hurts me.

7 – He is extremely adorable, [in a brotherly way]

6 – He always knows the right things to say, even if he has trouble saying it…he knows what makes me smile.

5 – I never get tired of having him around.

4 – He’s like a ball of sunshine on a rainy day. [That was rather corny and lame :p oh fucking well.]

3 – He gives THE best hugs, ever. :)

2 – Even if you don’t want his help, he will still help, because he’s just that nice.

1 – I love him; he’s the best brother in the world. No one knows me better than him, and he’s been with me through everything. I never want to lose him, ever; he’s the one I turn to when I’m hurt, physically or mentally. I don’t know what else to say about him, but there’s a lot more I love about him. He’s Mark Parker…and he’s the best brother ever. I love you Mark :D

I ran...as fast and far as I could. But it seemed like I couldn't escape. He was always two steps behind me, ready to strike. Even when I pushed myself to run faster it was as though I kept slowing down, and he kept speeding up. It was getting hard to breathe, and my legs were about to give. I knew if I fell, he'd attack me, he'd kill me if he got the chance.
I kept seeing peoples faces in the back of my mind, first Mark, then Andrew, Cristy, Bazz, Stella, Sophie, Luke, Carson, Dawn, Brooks, Johnny, Kyle, Evie, Austin, Dallas, Blair, Blaze...and everyone else. [there are way too many to list] I couldn't stop trying to outrun him, I couldn't, I wouldn't let myself do it. The next thing I know, he has me on the ground, a knife to my neck, his hands wandering. I swallowed hard and looked into his cold eyes.
"This is the end." He smiled. How could he enjoy this..? Killing his own daughter! After he killed his wife! The man was sick, and needed to be sent off. "Little Bre, always a mess. You never were perfect, your mother hated you, I hated you, Mark hates you. I'm surprised the Brumley kid likes you." He snorted, laughing at his cruelty. I shook my head, letting tears fall down my cheeks.
"That isnt true, and you know it." I cried, refusing to believe it, even though in the back of my mind I knew he was right. "Your mother always wanted to send you to an orphanage, and try again for a new daughter. A prettier, better, smarter, more respectful daughter. She tried to make you better, give you a fair chance, but you blew it." He spat. "You were always worthless. And you still are, everyone will be happy when you're gone..." he trailed off and I felt the knife slid into my throat, slowly killing me.

I shot up in my bed, clutching the sheets around me. I had been sweating and the sheets were sticking to my thighs. I looked around the room, my eyes were wide. I looked to my left and saw Andrew, sitting up next to me. I mentally thanked Mark for letting Andrew stay with me for a few days. "Bre...babe, are you okay?" He asked, pulling me over to him. I nodded and hid my face in his chest. "I'm just...scared, thats all." I answered. "Of what?" He asked, pulling my face out to look at me. "Of my dad." I whispered, letting a tear roll down my cheek. "Bre...I wont let him touch you. No one's going to be able to hurt you as long as I'm with you. Understand?" Andrew said, forcing me to look at him. I nodded and hugged him again. "Go back to sleep Bre, I'll be here when you wake up."

Last night I couldnt sleep, and I had bugged Mark almost every night this week since I moved in so I just decided to go out. I threw on some shoes with my sweatpants and t-shirt and walked out the front door. I walked down the road in silence, I was alone. It wasnt awkward, it was comfortable...it was the silence I had needed. I was never alone anymore. Either Andrew or Mark were with me, asking me if I was okay, how I was holding up, if I needed anything...ect. At some points I just wanted to snap, and yell at them to leave me alone. I needed something..I needed to be alone. To think, to sort things out. I was never going to get over what happened with everyone asking me questions...I'd never forget it and move on if they kept reminding me.
I found myself in front of our old house, the one mom died in. There was a TV on inside, and I knew my dad lived there, alone, now. I wasnt going to stand there forever and make myself seen. But I needed to face him, to get even. I needed to prove that he couldnt mess with me anymore. After a while I started pacing outside the window. Soon I heard the front door open and looked up to see my dad. "Well, if it isnt Miss Breanna." he smirked. I scoffed, discusted. He looked shocked that I would give him any attitude at all. "Look, Mike, we need to talk." I smirked back. "Dont get an attitude with me, and I'm dad to you." He snapped. "You are NOT my father! See, I always had this idea in my mind that my father was supposed to be NICE! He was supposed to protect me, and keep me safe! He was supposed to threaten my boyfriend on the first date, then ask him if he knocked me up when he brought me home! I thought he was supposed to be caring, and loyal, and trustworthy! I didnt know Mark was my dad!" I yelled. Mike tried to interupt me but I stopped him. "Fathers arent supposed to kill mothers, or do drugs and drink. They arent supposed to beat their kids, and rape their daughters." I was starting to cry at this point. "You sicken me. You lowlife piece of trash!" I spit at him. This didnt settle to well with him, because the next thing I know, he's got me pinned to the ground. His fist raised above my face, ready to hit me at any point. I looked up into his eyes, tears blurring my vision a bit. "Go ahead. Hit me." I whispered. "Beat the shit out of me. Nothing ever stopped you before." Then he shrugged and brought his fist up again, right as he was bringing it closer to my face I started screaming as loud as I could. He tried to shut me up, but I bit his hand, screaming even louder. He got off of me and let me up. I stood up, ready to run if I needed to. Andrews house wasnt that far away. "You done screamin?" Mike asked. I shrugged and he cursed. I took one look at him and knew he wasnt going to come after me, he didnt want to me to scream and cause a commotion.
I walked away and towards Andrews house, I walked up the front steps and knocked on the door. His mom opened the door. "Oh, hello Breanna." she smiled, a little shocked to see me at this time. "Hey Mrs. B. Sorry to just show up..." she cut me off. "Its no problem, you're welcome anytime dear. We love having you here. The boys love you, Andrew loves you, I love you. You can come whenever you need to." she smiled happily. I loved Andrews mom, she was always so...chipper. I considered her a mom, I had known her since I was 8. "Thank you so much Mrs. B." I smiled and hugged her. "Bre, call me mom if you want." she smiled. Thats when I started crying, she led me over to the couch and we sat there for a while, with me crying and her comforting me. Andrew walked in, with Kyle and Caleb and came over to me. "Bre, are you okay? Whats wrong?" he asked, taking me from his mom. "I'm fine." I smiled through my tears. "I'm finally for once..happy with my life. I have an amazing brother, the best boyfriend in the world..and a mom." I smiled looking over at Mrs. Brumley. Andrew smiled and kissed my cheek. "Come on, you look tired." Andrew sighed picking me up and carrying me to his room. I smiled widely as he set me on his bed. "I talked to him, before I came over here." I admitted while Andrew was facing away from me, getting some clothes for me out of his drawer. "who?" he asked, distracted. "My dad." I replied. He turned around and looked at me, wide eyed. "He didnt hurt you did he?!" "No, no..he tried..but I took care of it." I laughed, taking some clothes from Andrew and changing into them. "Bre, promise me something?" Andrew asked quietly, sitting on the bed. "Anything." I nodded, going to sit by him. "Dont go looking for your dad. He's nothing but trouble and you need to wait until someone deals with him first. I dont want you to get hurt." He looked me in the eyes. "I promise." I agreed, hugging him. "Good, I love you Bre." he smiled, kissing me. "Yeah, yeah. I know you do." I laughed. He raised an eyebrow at me as I started to lay down. "Oh fine, I love you too Andrew." I giggled before laying down and falling asleep. Finally, for once, I was happy with my life and what I have. So what if I'm a greaser, it beats being a Soc. So what if I dont have a real mom, I still have a great 'mom' who cares about me. And so what if my brother is like my dad, I can go to him about anything and everything and know he'll always be there for me. I'm proud to be a greaser for once. And I never want to change that :)

My Drunken Asshole of a Father, and the Best Brother Ever.

So as most of you know, my fathers been in jail for...a long time. Well the other day I got a call from Mark saying he was out of jail. I will admit that I was scared shitless after I found this out. I knew he'd try to find me after he got out of jail, but I didnt know if he intended to hurt me or not. Cristy said she'd help make sure I was safe, but I knew she couldnt because of her baby. So I just counted on myself to keep me safe. Like I always had.
A few days later I was home alone, waiting for Mark to bring Bazz over. I heard a knock on the door and I got up from my place on the couch, thinking it was Mark. I opened the door and saw my dad, standing in front of me. He still looked like my dad, he still looked like the man me and Mark used to look up to. But, he was different. He was colder, meaner, heartless. "Breanna." he smiled. "Dad." I swallowed hard, stepping back into the house. He stepped forward, trying to close the distance between us, but I ran inside and up to my room. Shutting the door and locking it, I ran to the other side of my bed and sat on the floor, trying to hide. I heard him kicking the door and I heard it starting to give. I looked over to the window, I was on the second floor. It wasnt that far of a jump...I could try at least. I started to get up but heard the door hit the floor and turned around. My dad had knocked the door down and was making his way over to me, he had a switchblade in his hand. "I'm going to do what I did to your mother, only this time I have an extra...present before I kill you." He laughed and grabbed my shirt, pulling me over to him. I tried to get away, but couldnt. I started crying and screaming, trying to get ANYONES attention. But no one could hear me. I tried to get away some more but my dad cut my arm with the knife. I screamed and grabbed my arm. I wiped some blood off and stopped trying to fight him. It was obvious to me that I was going to die.

xx

After my dad was done..doing what he wanted to me, he said he'd keep me around in case he got bored and left. I had a few cuts and bruises on my face and arms, and some on my stomach and legs..pretty much everywhere. "I cant do this anymore." I thought outloud walking down the stairs and into the kitchen. I searched through cabinets and drawers until I came across what I was looking for. I took the bottle of vodka out from underneath the sink and screwed off the cap. I took a swig and walked over to the corner of the living room and sunk to the ground. As soon as I hit the ground I was bawling my eyes out. I dont know how long I sat there crying and drinking and crying some more. It was all I could do, it was all I wanted to do. But Mark walked in the front door after a little while. "Bre?!" He called, looking around, not being able to find me. I made a strange sound from my corner and Bazz came running over to me. I pulled him into my lap and cried a little more as Mark made his way over to me. Once he could see me, he ran over to me and pulled me into his arms. "Bre, what happened? Are you okay?" He asked, rocking me in his lap and kissing my forehead like he used to when I got hurt. "Dad.." I cried into his shoulder. I heard him murmer a line of very very very bad words, cursing out our father. "Where the hell is he now?!" Mark yelled, standing up, picking me up and holding me. "I dont know, he left..he was gonna kill me Mark, he raped me again." I cried even more. "Look, come stay with me. He wont know you're there, and I'll be home with you." Mark offered, walking me up to my room. "Okay," I agreed, looking around for Bazz. "Lets get your stuff together." Mark sighed, sitting me on my bed. He grabbed most of my clothes and fit them in two suitcases. He picked up both of the suitcases and I picked up Bazz before we walked out the door and to his car. The drive to his house was silent. Because he was too pissed off to speak and my throat hurt from the vodka and all the crying. "Stella isnt home right now.." Mark said, parking in his driveway. "She isnt?" I asked, getting out of the car and waiting for Mark to get my suitcases. "She went to visit her friends, she probably wont be home till tomorrow." Mark answered, walking to the front door with me. I opened it and we walked inside and up to my old room, which Mark had fixed up. I looked over at him and smiled, he was the best big brother ever. "Mark.." I said as he walked out the door. "Yeah?" He asked, turning to look at me. "You're the best brother a Bre could ever ask for. Thank you so much." I smiled hugging him. "I love you Bre." He laughed and let me go. "I love you too Marker." I smiled as he walked out the door. I think things are gonna be A-Okay now. :)