You know how when you get your heart broken and you know its your fault, you just want to be alone? You just want to lock yourself up in your room and be alone, with your music and your thoughts. Thats how I wanted to be when I left for Virginia. I wanted to be alone, I didnt want to be followed. I needed to think, to be alone and process what happened to me. But apparently Cristy and Johnny had other plans, so they followed me. The day they decided they wanted to come, I hadnt been in the best of moods. I had just gotten to Virginia, I had been in a car crash earlier that morning, I barely had any sleep and the last thing I wanted was to be interupted when I was trying to think. But its not like they KNEW that. They cant read my mind. Although at that moment I wished they could, because then they never would've knocked on the damn door. But, since they cant read my mind, they did knock on the door. And I was pissed off by the time I opened the door up and saw them standing there. Johnny had a goofy grin on his face, and Cristy looked like she had just yelled surprise. With my lack of sleep, and awful emotional state I was in I simply said fuck off and slammed the door in their faces.
"Bre, come on! I'm your gangsta bestie, you cant ignore me like this!" Johnny yelled through the door. "What does it look like I'm doing Johnny?" I yelled back. "Come on Bre, open the door!" Cristy joined in. They were already annoying the hell out of me, and it only made it worse when they started banging on the door. "Stop it!" I yelled and opened the door. "If it makes you fucking stop, just come in." They came in and sat on the bed. "Why are you two here?" I asked, I really had no clue why they came. "To see you Bre, of course. And to bring you home. Mark's worried sick, the gang misses you.." Johnny smiled. "Yeah right. It doesnt really matter unless he misses me Johnny." I scoffed. I meant what I said too, the whole reason I was here was to think over the situation between me and Keith. And if I had found out that he missed me then I wouldve jumped right into my car and went straight back to Tulsa. "The gang misses you though! And Mark, you know how Mark gets when he misses you..he drinks." Johnny whined. "I'm not coming home guys, you wasted your time."
So then they left my room and went to get their own. They werent going to leave until I left with them apparently. Oh joy. But I could just ignore them, and go on with my thinking and my loneliness. The good thing about Virginia though, was that everyone was nice. On my second day there a nice woman offered me a job, it sounded like a good offer and I didnt know how long I was going to stay here, plus I was running low on the cash I stole from Marks wallet. So, as any smart mature adult would do, I took it. She had me start working that day, and it wasnt a hard job. I just had to help her with chores around her house, and she had a big house. I would say, if she lived in Tulsa, she would be a Soc. I did get paid good though, enough for food, and the hotel bill. Everyday was basically the day before, only each day I'd get paid a little more. One day when we were working on moping the floors, the woman asked me what a girl my age was doing alone so far from home. So I explained to her what happened, and why I needed to get away. It was then that I realized, maybe I needed to grow up. So instead of trying to figure out my relationship problems, I worked on growing up.
On my fourth or fifth day there, I decided I needed to apologize to Johnny and Cristy. So I went to the hotel and went to their room. They were leaving, as I was walking in. "Hey Bre." Cristy said, she didnt seem like she wanted to talk to me. "Cris, can we talk? And Johnny too?" They agreed to talk and we sat down in their room, in a big circle on the ground. "Guys, I'm sorry, I really am. Its just..all of this is overwhelming. I needed to get away, to think. To be alone, I didnt want you two to show up. No offence. But..I'm glad you did. Even if we havent talked since now..I liked knowing that if I ever needed someone, you two were right down the hall. Its good to know I have such great friends who care about me, and want me to be okay." "Bre, hun, we arent mad. Its just..me and Luke are having problems, he just called me and all he did was yell. Sometimes, you arent the only one hurting." I never thought about Cristy and Luke having problems, they seemed so picture perfect. So happy. So..in love. It never occured to me that they could have their problems. The next step in growing up for me will be learning that other people have problems that are just as important as mine. "Aw, Cristy, I'm sorry." I hugged her. "Bre, its fine. Trust me, Im sure it will all work out with me and Luke."
She was right when a day later Luke showed up in Virginia, with a bouqet of flowers for Cristy. He was nice enough to get me an All Time Low shirt, and he got Johnny some pop rocks and red bull. Luke convinced Cristy to come back home with him, and I convinced Johnny to go back home with the lovely couple. So after they left, it was just me again. :/
That night I had seen there was a drag race going on the next night and I thought 'Hey, this is dangerous and completely stupid, why not join in?' so thats just what I did. But, me and my stupidness got on facebook that night and not very many people were on so I was stuck talking to my best friend, Kyle Brumley. He asked how I was, and if I was coming home anytime soon. I said I was doing fine and if things go the way I want them to in the race tomorrow, I wont even be alive to come home. Well this, didnt settle too well with him and the next thing I know, he's on his way to get me. Even after my threats of gluing myself to the floor, he still came after me. The next morning he was in my hotel room throwing my things in my suitcase and dragging me out to the car. I was too tired to stop him, and I barely knew what was going on until I saw a 'Welcome to Kentucky' sign.
"Take me back." I commanded him. He just laughed and handed me some weed. "Here, this'll calm you down." I took them and started smoking the weed. He was wrong, it didnt calm me down. Instead I started crying like crazy. "Jesus Bre, calm down. Look, I know you're sad about what happened with that kid, but..running away wasnt a very good way to fix things." "I know that." "Then why'd you do it?" "I thought..maybe he'd realize he loves me and come after me. I was wrong though." "Bre, this isnt a fairytale, this is real life." "I know that, but..cant a girl dream?" this made him laugh a little. "I guess I'll let you dream." Then I went to sleep until we got back to Tulsa. Once I was back I heard from Keith, we talked and worked things out. Couldnt it have been this easy BEFORE I left? I like happy endings, and this was a happy ending. Only this was a weird and mixed up happy ending. Me and Keith are back together, and that makes me extremely happy. He's everything I could ever ask for, I cant live without him. <3 P.S. this is the longest post I have ever written :D :D :D
