We're Just Trying To Find Some Color, In This Black&White World

"I hate it here." I groaned, slamming my head against the bar. "Hate's a strong word, missy." The bartender replied, giving someone a beer. I gave him one of those shut-the-fuck-up-I-wasn't-talking-to-you-looks and hopped off my stool, leaving the bar. "I hate you." I mumbled, walking out of the front door. I saw a bunch of little kids in their Halloween costumes running around. I smiled and started my walk home. I saw Cale and Dawn, along with Kyle and Brooklyn, Andrew was with them. Cale and Kyle kept calling me over but I ignored them, continuing my journey home.
Jay's car wasn't there when I finally walked up the driveway. I shook my head and walked into the house. I had one missed call from Cristy and one from Jay. I called Jay back and he said he had to work late. As soon as I hung up the phone I threw it against the wall, sinking to the ground.
"Yeah, 'work'." I scoffed, starting to cry. Then my phone started to ring, and I reached for it, pressing the little green button. "Hello?" I asked , trying to sound like I hadn't been crying two minutes earlier. "McChicken, what's wrong? You sound sad." Cristy's voice asked. "Nothing's wrong, I think I have a cold." I lied, "Why are you calling?" "Well, I was wondering, do you wanna come up for a week?" Cristy asked. I didn't even have to think about it. "YES!" I answered. "I just need to get packed and I'll leave as soon as possible." Then I hung up the phone and started getting my things together. I pulled my suitcase out to my car, grabbing all of my cd's. Once everything was packed into my car I left Jay a note, and then set out for wherever Cristianne is located.

I got to wherever Cristy was in the next 7 hours. She was waiting for me outside of a hotel, with a big smile on her face and her preggo belly looking extra fabulous. "MCMUFFIN!" I yelled, running up to her. "Hey McChicken." She laughed. I gave her an awkward hug and then parked my car. I got my things and we went up to her room. "Cris, we may have a problem." I said out of nowhere. "And that would be...?" She asked. "I think I'm a bit burnt out on goldfish." I replied. Her eyes got wide and she looked like she had just seen a ghostie. "JUST KIDDING." I smiled. "Good!" Cristy smiled, putting a hand over her heart. "You scared me to death kiddo."
"I missed you PIC." I smiled, giving her another awkward hug. :)

I Can't Confess, My Rock And Roll Ways.

So, everyone's getting a tattoo, and so I decided I would get one :D. After arguing with both Jay and Mark about it, I called up Caleb and told him to come pick me up and take me. He said okay, and showed up like 038u4092523953825093850938249038490385908205832095389 minutes later. "CALE :DDD!" I screamed, jumping into the car. "BARBIE!" Cale yelled, starting our journey to the tattoo place. We drove, and drove, and drove and drove for quite a while before we pulled up outside of it.

"Is it gonna hurt Cale?" I asked as we walked inside. Like his brothers, he had many tattoos, because that's just how them Brumley kids are born. "Nope," He smiled, dragging me to the back. There was a very very very attractive fellow, who was going to do my tattoo. I know wish I was going to do my tattoo somewhere sexy instead of on my feet :(. I gave the guy one of my feet and the tattoo I wanted, he smiled. "All Time Low?" He asked. I nodded, smiling. "I love them." I laughed. "Me too!" He cheered. He got started on my tattoo, which didn't hurt as badly as I had expected it too. As I was getting tattooed, Cale kept showing me different tattoos, for "future references" as he put it. I found one that I absolutely ADORED, and I had to get it! So once the guy was done with my first one, I showed him the second one and where I wanted it. He got to work on it, and the next thing I know, I'm all bandaged up and Cale's taking me home. Jay was a little made about me getting two tattoos, but I think he got over it :). Anyways, Ima put a picture of my tats on herrrrr. :DDD

Oh Darlin' Don't You Ever Grow Up

Tonight I decided to watch Blaze, to let Blair and Dallas have a night to themselves to do...whatever they do. I headed over to Blair's house at about 6:00, but stopped at Jay's work on the way. I walked into the music shop and found Jay behind the counter.
"Hey Jay, I won't be home till late, I'm watching Blaze." I smiled, looking around the store. I saw Taylor Swift's new CD and picked it up. I threw it on the counter and Jay looked up.
"Oh, hey Bre." I laughed, taking the CD and ringing it up. He threw it in a bag, and handed it to me as I gave him the money for it. "Do you want this old acoustic? They were gonna throw it away and..."
"Yes!" I smiled, taking it out of his hand and hugging it.
"Okay then," He laughed, kissing my cheek. "See ya later babe," Then he looked at my middle. "See you later baby." He waved at it and I laughed, walking out of the store. I opened my CD and listened to it on the way to Blair's house, (I don't know if they live at Dal's or Blair's or what XD) I heard a really sweet song and kept replaying it, memorizing the lyrics.
Once I got to wherever Blaze and his parents were located, I grabbed the acoustic, my phone, my purse, and my ipod before walking into the house.
"Hey Bre!" Blair cheered, walking into the room, carrying Blaze.
"Hey Blair, hey Blaze!" I smiled. Blair mumbled something about how Dallas spent too much time getting ready and walked back into her room, coming out a few minutes later with the fatass himself.
"Thank you so much for doing this Bre, I mean it." Blair smiled, walking to the door with Dallas.
"Hey, no problem, I'm going to need to get used to kids anyways, this is like practice for me." I laughed waving goodbye to them as they walked out the door.
I sat down on the floor in front of Blaze. My legs were crossed and my elbows were on my knees, my head resting in my hands. Blaze sat up straight across from me, staring right back at me. This went on for a long time, before he started giggling. His spontaneous laughter made me smile, and then I tickled him, making him laugh even more.
"Are you hungry Blaze?" I asked, catching my breath. He nodded and I picked him up, carrying him into the kitchen. I found something for him to eat and you know...prepared it. I had it on a plate, but before I got it over to him, I tripped on something and the food went all over the table, getting on my face and all over Blaze. He started doing that cute little laugh again and I smiled, making him more food and being more careful this time.
After he ate, he needed to have a bath. I took him into the bathroom and turned on the water in the tub, making sure it wasn't too hot for him. I gave him a bath and he giggled and played with the bubbles. I smiled and picked him out a cute little outfit to sleep in. As soon as he got out of the tub and he was all dried off, he was yawning.
I smiled and took him into his room, laying him in his crib. I picked up the acoustic, remembering how the song I heard earlier went. I started playing, smiling at Blaze.
"Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
and it's so quiet in the world tonight
your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming
so I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny
you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
if you could stay like that

Oh darlin' don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up
just stay this little
Oh darlin' don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up
it could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you
won't let nobody break your heart
and no one will desert you
just try to never grow up
never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
and you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
at 14, there's just so much you can't do
and you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
but don't make her drop you off around the block
remember, she's getting older too
and don't lose that way you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school

Oh darlin' don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up
just stay this little
Oh darlin' don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up
it could stay this simple

No one's ever burned you
nothing's ever left you scarred
and even though you want to...
please try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
memorize what it sounds like when your dad gets home
remember the footsteps, remember the words said
and all your little brothers favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone...

So here I am, in my new apartment
in a big city, they just dropped me off
it's so much colder than I thought it would be
so I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown
Oh I don't wanna grow up
I wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh, I dont wanna grow up
wish I'd never grown up
it could still be simple

Oh darlin' don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up
just stay this little
oh darlin' don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up
it could stay this simple

Won't let nobody hurt you
won't let nobody break your heart
and even though you want to
please try to never grow up
oh, don't you ever grow up
oh, never grow up
just never grow up."
I played the last chord and Blaze was fast asleep, I smiled to myself and kissed his forehead. I turned around to go wait in the living room for Blair and Dal, but they were standing in the doorway.
"That was beautiful Bre." Blair smiled, walking over to me and Blaze, she looked down at him and smiled.
"Thanks for letting me watch him, he's a really good kid. You and Dal are obviously doing something right." I laughed, lightly punching Dal on the arm as I walked out of the room.
I think I'm ready for my baby now, thank you Blair, :) I hope I can be as good of a mother as you. You really are a great mom, Blaze is a lucky kid.

And you'll never know, that I am lying through my teeth

Yesterday was a very important day for my brother and uhm...the thing he got married to. :) Any who, since I'm his sister and all, I had to make a speech at his wedding. Now, we all know I'm not smart enough to write an entire speech, so I had Kitty right it for me. :D

After the wedding, at the beginning of the after party shit, everyone had to give their speech. And I walked up to the little stand thingy with the piece of paper Kit had given me this morning, ready to make a speech that was a complete lie.
"People get married because they fall in love. But what is love? Love is highly misunderstood although deeply desirable. A malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain. When you're in love, you realize you have this ability to love someone more than you love yourself. Giving your heart to someone, now that's the scary part" I started nervously, staring at the paper in my hands. I looked up at the gang, sitting in tables across the room. My eyes landed on Jay, and I smiled, starting again. "Love is when someone cares for you. When someone waits. When someone dreams about you. When you're all they think about. When they have looked for you their whole life and they have finally found you. Love is when someone loves you. Simple as that. Mark and Stella. What these two people sitting in front of me share, is not perfect. But nothing ever is. We shouldn't wait around for perfection because it doesn't exist. Making it right is what makes it so special. Feelings, like people, are perfect the way they are. Like some would say, Mark and Stella are perfectly imperfect." At this point I was holding back puke, wondering how Kitty could write something like this. But I kept reading, just so I could end this and sit back down in my seat. "Seeing my brother here on this special day makes me believe that there is still a tiny crazy thing he claims as love. He's taught me the most important lesson in my life, and that is to take a risk. He did and he fell in love. I can only turn to look at him and say: You were right, bro. I am nothing but grateful to him, because despite the stormy days, he's always managed to lift my feet up from the ground. Thank you, brother. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous but there is so much more to it. I am thankful. Thankful that he found someone who loves him as much as I do and who will take care of him like I do. And I just hope that with time, I will find someone who is as worthy of me, as Stella is of my dear brother, Mark Parker. Congratulations." I ended, getting out from behind the stand thingy.

"That was so sweet Bre, thank you so much. I'm glad to be apart of your family now." Stella smiled, moving to hug me, but I backed up and looked over at Mark.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes and went back to my seat. The next person went up to make their speech as I sat in my seat, hating this day more and more. I kept wishing I could drink, but I wasn't going to. "Hey Jay?" I asked, turning to Jay.

"Yeah?" He asked, sitting up.

"I'm really tired, do you wanna just head home?" I asked. Jay nodded and we left in the middle of Darry's speech.

But I wanna thank Kitty for making me want to commit suicide with that speech, love you Kitters ;)

It's Time To Check Up On My Baby ♥

It's been a week since I got the news that I was pregnant, and now it was time to go to my first check up, I was going to hear my baby's heartbeat. Cristy was in town, and since she's already been through this, I wanted her to go with me. I also promised Jamie she could go, since she was the first to know about it.
So this morning me and Jay picked up Cristy and James and headed to the doctors office. I was so nervous...but it was a happy nervous, I was excited. Jay was smiling like an idiot in the front seat and I knew he was just as happy as I was about this, and that made me even happier. The last thing I wanted was for Jay to regret this, and the look on his face assured me that he didn't.
"Jay," I smiled, looking at him. "I love you." "I love you too," He smiled, leaning over to kiss me, but Cristy and Jamie stopped him. "WHOA BUDDY! Not when we're in the car, please and thank you!" Jamie yelled. "She loves me more anyways Jay, she always has." Cristy winked, pulling some goldfish out of her purse. "OH MY MOTHER FUCKING GOLDFISH!" I screamed, grabbing the bag and stuffing a handful in my mouth. "Real classy in front of your hubby there Breanna." Jamie smirked. "He doesn't care." I replied with a mouthful of the tasty cheddar fishies. After the first handful I couldn't quit eating them. "THE BABY LOVES GOLDFISH TOO!" I screamed happily.
By now we were pulling into the doctors office parking lot and Jay was laughing his ass off. "Come on kids, it's time to go hear Jasey's heart beat." I smiled. "Or Jack's." Jay added. "Yeah, or Jack's." We walked into the doctors office and the secretary woman led us back to a room where there was a machine. The doctor was waiting for us. I had to pull my pants down a little, and then lay down on a bed thing. He put the jelly crap on my stomach and moved the little thinger ma jig around and soon a little blob popped up on the screen and then I heard a little thump thump. It was my baby.
"Jay, it's our baby." I felt myself starting to cry, but they were happy tears. "I know," He smiled leaning down beside me. Cristy and Jamie were smiling in the back of the room. :p
After that we took Jamie and Cristy home and went back to Jay's house.
"I can't wait until we know what it is." Jay smiled. "It's a baby." I laughed. He gave me one of those, you-know-what-I-mean looks. I smiled and kissed him. "I hope it's a boy." :)

Jay's Birthday;&People I love. :D

This morning I woke up way before Jay, and it was his birthday so I decided to wake him up with breakfast. :D just. kidding. I can't cook, so instead I decided to jump on the bed to wake him up. After what seemed like 10 minutes he finally woke up.
"Bre, what are you doing?" He asked, grabbing my leg and making me fall on top of him.
"Good morning love." I smiled. "Happy Birthday."
"Thanks babe," he laughed, "but you couldn't let me sleep in on my birthday?"
"Nope!" I cheered, climbing out of the bed and dragging him out too.
"Where are we going?" He asked.
"Go get ready, I have something planned." I smiled. I left the house knowing he would take forever in the shower. I went over to Jamie's. I talked to her and we planned something for Jay's birthday.
"Hey Bre!" Jamie smiled, getting in my car and riding with me to Bucks.
"Call Mark, he knows what kind of stuff guys like." I laughed. Jamie called Mark and he showed up at Bucks a few minutes later.
"So, what are we doing?" Mark asked.
"We're throwing Jay a surprise party!" Jamie cheered.
"Yeah, what she said. But we need your help...you know what guys like." I laughed.
"Guys like girls." Mark answered proudly, like he discovered something new.
"Holy smokes benji, no way." I replied sarcastically. "Just help us."
After all day of getting shit together it was like 10, so I went home to get Jay. He was watching tv on the couch.
"Jay, come on, I need your help with something." I whined, grabbing his hand and trying to get him to come with me.
"No Bre, you left earlier. This has been the worst birthday ever, I'm staying here." He shook his head.
"Fuck, just come with me!" I yelled.
"Can't we just stay home? It can't be that important." He sighed.
"YOU'RE COMING WITH ME, NOW LETS GO." I yelled, smiling innocently.
"Fine," He agreed, "But you owe me later. ;)"
"I know, I know." I laughed. We got in my car and drove alllllllll the way to Buckle's house. :) I hoped on Jay's back and put my hands over his eyes, so it would be a surprise.
"Bre, I can't walk if I can't see where I'm going." Jay laughed.
"Oh right." I agreed, gettting off of his back and making him cover his eyes. I pulled him into Buck's place and everyone yelled "SURPRISE." all loud like and stuff.
"Bre, did you do this, all day?" Jay asked, after thanking everyone for coming.
"Yep, and you were mad at me." I nodded.
"Sorry about that, you know I love you." He laughed,
"You better." I smiled.
"Happy Birthday boo.," I smiled kissing Jay.
"Thanks." He smiled.
Pretty much everyone got hella smashed and we all partied, because we seem to do that whenever there is alcohol around :D I also want to add that I love the following people:
Jamie
Cristay
Dawn
Jayson
Mark
Carson
Soap
Pones
Caleb
Austin's pretty geee
Darrel
Blair
Stella
Katie
Dallas [sex]
Johnny
Lukas my bwff :D
Buckle
Blazeee
Evie!!!! who I miss D:
Steven (obviously)
Emma who disappeared. :p
Jelly
Dimitri
Kitty
Andrew
and I think that's everyone...oh, that's a lot of people XD I would also like to add that I love old Two-Bit, yeah, I needed to say it :D Booby can burn in hell.! Woohooo. the end ♥

MONTANA,

meeee :D
Jamiiiie :D
SO. The other night, some shit went down with James, and she wanted to get away for a while. Just to think some things through, and find herself so she could make some big decisions. She only wanted her bestest friend with her, so she asked if I would go. And I agreed to, being the amazing friend that I am. :D
We left last night, at the moment we are in a hotel room in...Kansas I think...unless we're in South Dakota...I don't know, I wasn't paying attention :D We've been taking loads of pictures so you guys can keep up with us ;). I'll upload them on facebook, but I'm gonna put a few from in the car on this post, cute right? I know we are :)
So, James is gonna post after me I believe, we love you guys and we'll be back uber soon!!

"Bre, are you all packed and ready to go?" Jay asked, walking into my room at Cristy's house. I nodded and grabbed my purse, before walking down stairs and out to Jay's car. Sophie followed us out.

"Soph, please let me believe that I can trust you here alone." I begged, closing my eyes.
"I promise Bre, chill. I'm 16, I'm capable of watching myself." She laughed. I opened my eyes and gave her a hug before getting into the car and leaving for Las Vegas with Jayson for our honeymoon.

That was a week ago. Now I'm laying on the couch at Cristy's wondering how in the hell this happened to me.
"Bre, babe. You need to get up." Jay sighed, walking into the room to sit next to me on the couch. I shook my head and looked away from him.
"Never."
"Bre."
"Nope."
"Breanna."
"Go away."
"Breanna Lynn Woods."
"What?" I asked, turning to face Jayson again.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." He frowned, hugging me.
"It's fine, I'm kinda happy about it...it's just...so soon..." I whispered, kissing his cheek.
"You're happy?" He asked. I nodded. "Good, I'm not the only one."
"I bet everyone else will be furious..." I sighed, getting up off the couch. I picked up my phone and dialed Jamie's number.
"Hey hey Bre." Jamie cheered from the other end.
"James, I have important news..." I trailed off.
"Hmmmm?" She asked.
"I'm pregnant.." I replied.

THAT'S THE END. wow..this was a really bad post. :( I didn't know how else to say it..really, I didnt.