It's Driving Me Crazy It Seems, I'm Gonna Ask Her To Marry Me.

"Bre, you home?" Jay asked, walking into Cristy's house a few days ago. I had to stay there with Soffie while she was gone :p "Yeah," I answered from inside my old room upstairs. I was watching The Last Song and I didn't want to get up. Jayson walked into my room a few minutes later and laid down beside me on the bed. "What are you watching?" He asked, wrapping an arm around me. "The Last Song, it's so sweet." I smiled, turning to kiss his cheek. "I guess." He shrugged. "It is!" I laughed, turning it off and sitting up. "Why is it so sweet?" He asked, sitting up beside me. "I like how they're so in love..after only knowing each other for a short time. It's just sweet." I smiled, shrugging. "Like us?" Jay asked, I looked at him and nodded. "Like us." I agreed, taking his hand in mine. He whispered something in my ear and I smiled and nodded, kissing him, before running to the phone. I dialed Jamie's number since Cristy was out of town, and told her the good news.

"JAMIE! Guess what!!" I screamed into the reciever. "What?!" She screamed back. "Jay asked me that one question!" I screamed. There was silence before I heard Jamie scream. "OH MY GOD BRE!!!! I BETTER BE FUCKING INVITED. OR ELSE!" She screamed. "I think we're going to do it in Vegas..so no one is invited." I replied sadly. "NO! Have it here! I'll get it all worked out, trust me. You and Jay just have to show up!" She cheered before hanging up. I sighed to myself and turned to face Jayson. He smiled and laughed before giving me a hug and saying he had to leave.

This morning I was rudely awaken by Dawn and Jamie. "BREEEEE! Wake up honey! It's a big day today!" Jamie cheered, walking into my room. "Jamie, go away!" I replied, almost asleep. "NEVER!" Dawn yelled, pulling me off of the bed and onto the floor. "Ow?!" I screamed, opening my eyes and sitting up. "Sorry there Brenana, but today is an important day." Dawn smiled. I cocked an eyebrow and looked at Jamie. "You told her?" I asked , standing up. Jamie nodded proudly and I rolled my eyes. "We convinced everyone to come too, aren't you proud?" Jamie laughed. I was kind of proud, it must have taken forever to talk to everyone and convince them to show up. "Very." I smiled. Jamie grabbed my arm and pulled me downstairs. On the back of the couch there were three dresses, mine, Jamie's, and Dawn's. "Too bad Cristy isn't here." I sighed, picking up my dress. I took it upstairs and tried it on. It was beautiful. "Bre? Do you have it on?" Dawn asked through the door. I opened it and heard Dawn and Jamie gasp. "BRE! You look amazing! I'm so jealous of Jayson!" Jamie laughed, standing beside me in the mirror. "You look lovely my little sea dweller!" Dawn smiled, standing on the other side of me. "I love it guys, thank you so much, it's perfect!" I gushed, hugging them both. Jamie pulled out her phone and said she had to go return a phone call. A few minutes later she came back in and said we had to do my hair and make-up and then leave.

"Who called James?" I asked as we got into the car to go. "Soda. I put him in charge of the guys. He's been through this already, and he's a lot more mature than the other guys." Jamie answered. "Oh, what'd he say?" I asked. "That the guys are ready." Dawn said, turning on the radio. "Oh. Where..." I started but Jamie cut me off. "Bre, quit asking questions. We're here." She smiled, pulling into some church parking lot. I didn't pay much attention. "We have to hurry, the guys are already at the alter. Run!" Dawn said, sounding a bit worried. We ran inside and Jamie and Dawn left me to go to the alter. Mark was waiting by the door.

"Bre, you can wait you know." Mark sighed, holding his elbow out for me. "You know I don't like to wait." I smiled, kissing my brother on the cheek. "I love you Bre, and I'm very happy for you. I'm just going to miss having you around." Mark sighed as the music started playing. "I'll visit all the time, you'll barely even know I'm gone. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon." I smiled as Soda and Katie opened the doors to the main part of the church [honest to god, i forgot what it's called XD i know it, i just cant think of it.] Jay was standing at the alter, smiling like an idiot. Mark walked me up to him and then took a seat beside Stella. Then the preacher man said his stuff, and we said our vowes. "You may now kiss the bride." The preacher man smiled. Jay dipped me back and kissed me. There were a lot of aw's from the crowd, and when I opened my eyes and looked out at the entire gang...I knew this was right. I was happy to have all of my friends and family there..minus Cristian, because she's too busy having fun with Cobra Starship :(. I even saw Steven crying on Blair's shoulder. p.s. you all look way better from up on stage, just sayin :p.

After the wedding reception was over I'm pretty sure everyone was drunk. I tried my best to stay sober so I could remember my wedding night, but it wasn't working out for me. Jay carried me back to Cristy's house and we sat in my room for three hours just smiling at each other. "I love you." He finally said, breaking the silence. "I love you too." I smiled, leaning in to kiss him. I'm going to end it here, because I don't know what else to say. :)

My shitty post. :)

"You're gonna be alone for the rest of your life if you keep doing this Bre!" Andrew screamed, walking out of Mark's house.
"I know," I sighed to myself, looking down at my bare ring finger. "I know." I felt a warm tear slide down my cheek, and I immediately started to regret the decision I had made a few days earlier. But Andrew was right. I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. I take everything for granted and treat it like shit. My friends, my family, my boyfriends...all of it.
It's not like I date guys just to leave them...it's different. I never know what I want, and in my desperate endeavor to find the person that is meant for me I am positive that he just walked out my front door.
I couldn't even think straight, so I decided to take a walk. It was cloudy and stormy outside, exactly like my mood. I walked past the park, past Bucks, past the train tracks, and out to where the trees and open fields are. Out to where it's quite, and peaceful. I sat down at the bottom of a tree and let the tears fall, this way no one could see me cry.
I don't know how long I sat there like that, with my knees pulled close to my body, and my head resting on my knees. I just know it was dark when I finally ran out of tears. I was soaked from the rain, but it was okay. I started my walk back home and was half way there when I ran into Jayson.
"Bre?" He asked. I nodded and sighed as he walked over to me and hugged me. "What are you doing out here like this?"
"I talked to Andrew today, I got real emotional. I needed to take a walk, it started raining on me." I frowned, getting closer to him. He slung an arm around my shoulders.
"Come on, I'll take you home." He smiled, kissing my forehead. I shook my head, but smiled anyways.
"I'm gonna go see Kyle...we haven't talked in a while..I miss him." I smiled, hugging Jayson around the waist, loving how comfortable I was around him.
"Oh? Okay, I'll walk you over there then. Just to make sure you're safe." He smiled. I liked how he didn't mind me hanging out with Kyle. I smiled as we continued to walk. It was silent, but it was the comfortable kind. :) Once we got to Kyle's house, Jay kissed me and said if I needed him I could call him. I smiled and waved goodbye as I knocked on The Brumley's front door. Kyle answered. I held back a laugh at the way he was dressed. He was in his skinny jeans, only they were riding low, and you could see his bright red boxers that had the word 'Naughty' written across them in white, and he wasn't wearing a shirt.
"Hey Bre." He smiled, all stupid like.
"Hey kid." I smiled, walking into the house. He put his hand out to stop me. "Don't tell me you hate me too." I narrowed my eyes.
"No, I don't. But Andrew's home and he is P-I-S-S-E-D." He laughed. I laughed too and grabbed his shirt off the couch. I threw it at him.
"Put this on, and grab some drugs. I wanna get fucked up." I laughed. He put the shirt on and ran into his room. He came back with a handful of things, I noticed the weed and some needles, he must have had heroine.
"I got the good stuff, I know how much you like it." He winked and walked outside with me. He stuffed the drugs in his pockets and we walked down the sidewalk. Every now and then he'd swerve and bump into me, causing me to lose my balance and almost fall.
"So, you wanna tell me what happened?" Kyle asked, breaking the silence. I looked up at him.
"Not really." I replied, emotionless.
"And why not?" He asked, "I thought we were best friends."
"Well...we are...but, it's your brother after all. And, it's just weird, talking to you about it and all." I shrugged.
"I understand." He nodded. "But, I'm always here for you Bre.." He stopped walking and stopped me too. He grabbed my arm and turned me so I was looking right at him. "I'll always be here." He looked me straight in the eyes and I knew I could trust him with anything, even with my life.
I was about to say something when I heard police sirens going off, and the next few minutes were a blur to me. The cop was in front of me and he was searching Kyle, he found the drugs, and I saw him get the handcuffs out. I stopped him.
"They're mine!" I screamed, "I had him hold them because my shorts pockets wont fit all of them. They're mine, don't arrest him." The police officer thought it over for a minute and stopped handcuffing Kyle. Kyle looked like a deer in headlights, too shocked to say or do anything.
The police officer slapped the handcuffs on me and went over the whole "Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law..." blah blah blah. I got in the backseat of the police car and took one last look at Kyle, he was still shocked. I smiled to myself and stared out the window as we drove down to the station.
I was only in there a grand total of two hours before a police officer came back and let me out, claiming that my brother was here for me. I walked into the station lobby, thinking of all the ways Mark would yell at me. But when I got out there, it wasn't Mark that was standing there. It was Kyle. I smiled and walked over to him. He gave them the bail money and they gave me a warning, blah blah blah.
Me and Kyle started our walk home, or well..to Mark's house. I decided to talk.
"Thank's Kyle." I smiled. He just looked at me and smiled back.
"No, thank you Bre." He laughed, running his hand through his hair. "Only a best friend would do something like that."
"Why do you think we're best friends then? Just because it's fun to call you that?" I laughed, we were at Mark's house now. Kyle walked me up to the door and gave me a hug.
"Thank's again Bre." He smiled, as we waited for Mark to open the door.
"No problem, thank you too." I laughed, "Wait, does he know?" I asked. Kyle shook his head as Mark opened the door. I waved goodbye to Kyle and walked inside, ignoring Mark yelling at me for hanging out with him.
I went upstairs and sat on my bed. I thought about all that happened today..and knew then that I can live life without Andrew Brumley. xx

I Was Fine Before You Walked Into My Life

"Breanna Parker?" I heard someone ask from behind me. I stopped laughing with Cristy and turned around to face a girl about a year older than me. She had brown side-swept hair, and green eyes. "Uhm, yeah. That's me, what of it?" I asked. "I'm your long lost sister, Whitney Parker." She smiled. I narrowed my eyes at her and stood up, walking out of The Dingo. This was the girl Mark had told me about. Was this supposed to be some cruel joke? It wasn't funny. I didn't want or need an older sister. My life was fine before she showed up.
"Bre, listen to me. I was put up for adoption by our parents. I'm sorry to just barge into your life like this....but you and Mark are the only family I have left." Whitney sounded like she was on the verge of tears. I sighed and turned to look at her. "How about we go clubbing, to get to know each other?" She optioned. I agreed, and soon we were at a club. After a few drinks she saw the bandage on my arm. "What happened Bre?" She asked. "Well....I guess you're my sister now, so it shouldnt hurt to tell you." Then I explained what happened with our father over the years, and I told her some other problems I was having in life. "So, I woke up in the hospital and the only people there were Cristy and Mark. No Andrew, but he decided to show up later, thinking it would all be okay. But it wasnt, so I broke up with him. Then Jayson comes along..and kisses me, and I don't know what to think about that." I ended. "Bre, everything will be okay..." She smiled. That's when I lost it, I was tired of everyone saying it was going to be okay. "NO! It isnt going to be okay! Nothing will ever be okay! I was happier when it was just Me and Mark and the Gang! No you! And no Stella! And no stupid boyfriends! And no abusive dad's! It was just us, our own little family, just brother and sister and all the people we ever needed to keep us moving! News flash, Whitney, it will never ever EVER be okay! Just...just get out of my life!" I screamed at her, running out of the club with Cristy.
Now that I think about it, I feel kind of bad for yelling at Whitey. [thats my new nickname for her] She didn't deserve it, she didnt know any better. So here's a little note to her : I'm sorry Whitey, love Bree.

Don't Let Me Get Away, We Could Use Each Other.

White room. Uncomfortable bed. Beeping machines. I looked down at the I.V. in my arm and cringed, I had always hated needles. There was a bandage on my wrist, and I wondered what had happened. I hadn't remembered anything up to when I passed out...except what my dad had said and done to me. I sat up in the hospital bed, and yawned.

"Bre?" I heard someone ask. I looked over at the corner of the room and saw Mark and Cristy. I smiled at them."Hey," I smiled as Mark stood up and ran a hand through his hair.

"God Bre, you had me worried to death, I thought I lost you." He frowned, scooting me over and sitting on the bed beside me.

"Hey McChicken," Cristy smiled. "How are you?"
"Fine, what even happened?" I asked. I noticed Mark move around, nervous.
"Well...dad came by the house, and you were at home alone." Mark started, "He said some things to you, and tried to rape you. But I came into the house before he could do anything worse than cutting you a few times. You couldn't take it and you cut yourself on a major vein...you passed out from the blood lost. I was so scared, I thought I lost you Bre."
"I'm sorry Mark," I frowned, hugging him. "How could I forget that...?"
"Miss Parker?" A male voice asked from the doorway, Me and Mark turned to look at him. The doctor was standing in the door, with another man. "May we speak with you?" I nodded and they walked in and sat in the chairs. Cristy got up and left, saying she would be back soon.
"Miss Parker, Mr. Parker, we have something we need to...tell you about." The doctor said, "The judge here, Mr. Birchler, and myself think that under your circumstances, you should be signed into therapy. Meaning, you will have to go to therapy." I opened my mouth to object but he stopped me. "I know you don't want to go to therapy, most people don't. But this will be good for you, believe me. I'll let you two talk about it, and decide when you want to start attending your sessions." He smiled and walked out the door, taking the judge with him.
"I knew it," Mark shook his head, "I knew you'd have to go to therapy."
"Its fine Mark, I'll go." I shrugged, turning to the door again. Cristy walked in with Johnny, Jamie, Brooks, Dawn, Austin, Kyle, Blair, and Carson. I sighed at the absence of Andrew, and tried to put on my strong face, but it wasn't working out. "Hey guys."
"BRE! Are you okay?!" Jamie yelled, running over to me and giving me a hug.
"I'm fine Jamie." I lied, smiling.
"I should've been there Bre, we all should have!" Dawn frowned, giving me another hug.
"No guys, it's fine. Maybe it was supposed to happen, maybe there was a lesson that needed to be learned." I shrugged, not believing a word that I said. Everyone pretty much just apologized and hung around a little bit, before leaving to go to something better. Then the next group of people came in, Soda, Darry, Kitty, Katie, Pony, Stella, Kat, and Dallas. They did the same thing the others did, and then left. I hated being in the hospital, and I hated having so many people say sorry to me, it was starting to get old.
"I'm sorry Bre..." Cristy frowned.
"Cris, please, don't say that." I sighed.
"No, I'm sorry about Andrew. He didn't show up." Cristy sighed, sitting by me on the bed, Mark had left with Stella, so it was just me and her.
"It's fine." I lied, looking at the floor.
"No it isn't." Cristy argued.
"You're right, but its whatever. If he didn't want to come, he didn't have to, and he didn't." I shook my head, "He probably has to work anyways."
"He did, I called him and told him he needed to come see you, but he said he had to work. He needs to get money to buy your apartment, or that's what he says." Cristy nodded, "But Bre, he does love you."
"I know," I nodded, lying a bit. "But..." I was cut off when a nurse walked in and told Cristy that she had to go home.
"Bye McChicken." Cristy frowned, hugging me. "Get better."
"Bye Mcmuffin, and I'll try." I sighed. After she left I was stuck in my room, alone. It was boring, so I thought about the whole therapy thing. The All Time Low song Therapy kept playing in my head. I had always heard that therapy never did anything for you, and it was just a waste of time. I sighed and decided to sleep, thinking that would shut my mind up.
Before I could go to sleep the door opened and someone walked in, I didn't turn to see who it was though, I honestly didn't care. The person got in the bed with me and laid down, so I turned to see Andrew. I smiled at him.
"I'm sorry Bre," He whispered, "I should have been here with you, but I'm here now." I didn't even care that he said sorry to me, I was just glad that he was finally here.
"I love you." I smiled, curling up against him.
"I love you too," He whispered, kissing my forehead. "I always will." And then, I fell asleep, next to my wonderful fiance. I'm going to go to therapy, just to see if it helps. It probably won't, but it's okay. I'm also going to try to get my father sent to jail, it's hard to live everyday knowing he could get me at any moment. :/

OREO. :D

You've always been a pathetic excuse for a human being

"Stella's back in town, so we're going out tonight." Mark said. We were in his room. I was sitting on the floor playing with Bazz, and he was going through his closet. "Okay." I replied, not really caring about anything he said, I was too preoccupied with Bazz. "You can have Austin or someone over. I just dont want you here alone..okay?" He said, trying to get my attention. I absent mindedly nodded as I played tug-of-war with Sebastian. "I'll call him later." I mumbled, standing up and dragging Bazz out of the room as Mark changed into his gay ass suit.
After he and Stella left I called Austin, he was too busy with Brooks and said he couldnt come over. So I called Andrew, but he was working. Then I called Cristy, she had other things to do. Kyle and Blair were hanging out, Carson was going to "read", Dallas had Blaze again, Jamie and Johnny were on a date, Darry was with Lissa, Pony was being the third-wheel and was joining Jamie and Johnny on their date. Kit and Two-Bit were being a cute couple and they were taking a walk [bull shit, they were probably fucking], Soda and Katie just didnt want to, Evie was god knows where, and Dawn was asleep, Dimitri and Jelly were doing the couple thing too. So I was left at home, alone.
I probably watched every movie in the house by the time I heard the door open. I didnt bother looking at the clock, I just stood up and ran to the door, hoping it was Andrew and he was off of work. I was sadly mistaken. My dad was standing in the front hallway, with a knife in one hand, and a beer in the other.
"Oh, Bre, I knew JUST where to find you." He smirked, walking towards me, making me walk backwards, back into the living room. "No one's here to save you this time, good." I gulped and tried to grab something to hit him with, but failed miserably by tripping over the couch. He climbed over top of me and held the knife to my throat.
"BASTARD!" I yelled, but he smacked me across the face and lightly cut my neck.
"Dont talk to me like that!" He yelled, he cut my shirt in half, exposing my stomach and chest to him. I felt hot tears burn my eyes, but I held them back. This man would never see me break, never again. I smacked him across the face, which only rewarded me with a fresh cut on my stomach. "You little bitch!" He screamed in my face. "You never know when to do what someone tells you to do! You've always been a pathetic excuse for a human being! No one has ever, and no one will EVER love you! You'll die alone and old, and then, you'll rot in hell for making everyone else's lives miserable! Mark's nice enough to let you stay with him! I'm proud of him, no one else would be able to put up with you! No one WANTS to put up with you! Your mom never should've had you! You were the worst thing that every happened! To this family, and to the world!" He screamed, cutting me with every word he said, and every breath he took. I must've had 0239503275075093285094357023049370270973509723572305793275903270523709353057902735790 cuts on my body by the time I heard the window shatter. I turned to look at Mark, he was already cussing out my dad. I took that time to get away from him. I picked up Bazz and ran into the kitchen to hide under the table. I noticed earlier that my dad had kicked Bazz out of the way, and I wanted to make sure he was okay. I held him close as I silently watched my dad and Mark fight. Then they stopped, and I saw my dad pull a gun out of his cowboy boots. I gulped and held Bazz tighter.
"If ANYONE finds out about this....I'll kill both of you!" My dad yelled before leaving the house. I continued to hold back my tears as Mark walked over to me and got under the table. He moved to sit beside me. "Hey Banana." He fake smiled, trying to sound happy, but failing. "He's gone now, lets get out from under here, okay hun?" Mark optioned. I shook my head and kept quiet. "Come on Bre." Mark whined, taking Bazz out of my arms. I opened my mouth to say something, but didnt. My dad was right, no one should have to put up with me. Mark picked me up and carried me into the bathroom, I didnt try to fight him anymore, there was no use."You okay?" Mark asked, looking over my cuts. "What do you think?" I snapped, not wanting any help. My dad was right, I should die, so everyone would be happy. "I think we need more band-aids." Mark tried to be funny, but I rolled my eyes and kept quiet. "He hurt Bazz.." I whispered, feeling myself start to cry a little. "I'll check on him when I'm done with you. What happened?" he asked. Thats when I stopped being strong, and I started breaking down. "Everyone was doing something, so I was home alone...I dont remember when dad came in, I just remember him ontop of me on the couch and and how he'd cut me when I moved or tried to get away or fight back.....he kept saying I fucked everything up." I cried, scooting back towards the vanity mirror. My dad was right, I am a pathetic excuse for a human being. I shouldnt be alive, and my mom never shouldve had me, everyone would be happier with me gone. Mark shouldnt have to deal with me, no one should. I'm useless and stupid, I'm a bother and a pain, I should be dead. I shouldnt be here. I took one look at Mark before standing up and walking out of the bathroom, my cuts werent even fixed, but I didnt care. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife, before going into my room. "Bre! What are you doing in there with a knife?!" Mark screamed at me through the door. I sighed at how stupid he was, I didnt lock the damn thing. I put the knife against my arm, right where the main vein runs. I pressed down as hard as I could, cutting through the skin, watching the blood ooze out of the cut. I didnt realize I had screamed until Mark came running in asking why I screamed. I saw Mark's angry yet worried face, right before everything faded to black.