10 things I love about: Mark Parker.

10 – How he’s always there for me, no matter how many times I get mad and say I hate him, he’s always there to protect me.

9 – He’s a lot of fun, and he knows how to cheer me up.

8 – He’ll beat up anyone who hurts me.

7 – He is extremely adorable, [in a brotherly way]

6 – He always knows the right things to say, even if he has trouble saying it…he knows what makes me smile.

5 – I never get tired of having him around.

4 – He’s like a ball of sunshine on a rainy day. [That was rather corny and lame :p oh fucking well.]

3 – He gives THE best hugs, ever. :)

2 – Even if you don’t want his help, he will still help, because he’s just that nice.

1 – I love him; he’s the best brother in the world. No one knows me better than him, and he’s been with me through everything. I never want to lose him, ever; he’s the one I turn to when I’m hurt, physically or mentally. I don’t know what else to say about him, but there’s a lot more I love about him. He’s Mark Parker…and he’s the best brother ever. I love you Mark :D

I ran...as fast and far as I could. But it seemed like I couldn't escape. He was always two steps behind me, ready to strike. Even when I pushed myself to run faster it was as though I kept slowing down, and he kept speeding up. It was getting hard to breathe, and my legs were about to give. I knew if I fell, he'd attack me, he'd kill me if he got the chance.
I kept seeing peoples faces in the back of my mind, first Mark, then Andrew, Cristy, Bazz, Stella, Sophie, Luke, Carson, Dawn, Brooks, Johnny, Kyle, Evie, Austin, Dallas, Blair, Blaze...and everyone else. [there are way too many to list] I couldn't stop trying to outrun him, I couldn't, I wouldn't let myself do it. The next thing I know, he has me on the ground, a knife to my neck, his hands wandering. I swallowed hard and looked into his cold eyes.
"This is the end." He smiled. How could he enjoy this..? Killing his own daughter! After he killed his wife! The man was sick, and needed to be sent off. "Little Bre, always a mess. You never were perfect, your mother hated you, I hated you, Mark hates you. I'm surprised the Brumley kid likes you." He snorted, laughing at his cruelty. I shook my head, letting tears fall down my cheeks.
"That isnt true, and you know it." I cried, refusing to believe it, even though in the back of my mind I knew he was right. "Your mother always wanted to send you to an orphanage, and try again for a new daughter. A prettier, better, smarter, more respectful daughter. She tried to make you better, give you a fair chance, but you blew it." He spat. "You were always worthless. And you still are, everyone will be happy when you're gone..." he trailed off and I felt the knife slid into my throat, slowly killing me.

I shot up in my bed, clutching the sheets around me. I had been sweating and the sheets were sticking to my thighs. I looked around the room, my eyes were wide. I looked to my left and saw Andrew, sitting up next to me. I mentally thanked Mark for letting Andrew stay with me for a few days. "Bre...babe, are you okay?" He asked, pulling me over to him. I nodded and hid my face in his chest. "I'm just...scared, thats all." I answered. "Of what?" He asked, pulling my face out to look at me. "Of my dad." I whispered, letting a tear roll down my cheek. "Bre...I wont let him touch you. No one's going to be able to hurt you as long as I'm with you. Understand?" Andrew said, forcing me to look at him. I nodded and hugged him again. "Go back to sleep Bre, I'll be here when you wake up."

Last night I couldnt sleep, and I had bugged Mark almost every night this week since I moved in so I just decided to go out. I threw on some shoes with my sweatpants and t-shirt and walked out the front door. I walked down the road in silence, I was alone. It wasnt awkward, it was comfortable...it was the silence I had needed. I was never alone anymore. Either Andrew or Mark were with me, asking me if I was okay, how I was holding up, if I needed anything...ect. At some points I just wanted to snap, and yell at them to leave me alone. I needed something..I needed to be alone. To think, to sort things out. I was never going to get over what happened with everyone asking me questions...I'd never forget it and move on if they kept reminding me.
I found myself in front of our old house, the one mom died in. There was a TV on inside, and I knew my dad lived there, alone, now. I wasnt going to stand there forever and make myself seen. But I needed to face him, to get even. I needed to prove that he couldnt mess with me anymore. After a while I started pacing outside the window. Soon I heard the front door open and looked up to see my dad. "Well, if it isnt Miss Breanna." he smirked. I scoffed, discusted. He looked shocked that I would give him any attitude at all. "Look, Mike, we need to talk." I smirked back. "Dont get an attitude with me, and I'm dad to you." He snapped. "You are NOT my father! See, I always had this idea in my mind that my father was supposed to be NICE! He was supposed to protect me, and keep me safe! He was supposed to threaten my boyfriend on the first date, then ask him if he knocked me up when he brought me home! I thought he was supposed to be caring, and loyal, and trustworthy! I didnt know Mark was my dad!" I yelled. Mike tried to interupt me but I stopped him. "Fathers arent supposed to kill mothers, or do drugs and drink. They arent supposed to beat their kids, and rape their daughters." I was starting to cry at this point. "You sicken me. You lowlife piece of trash!" I spit at him. This didnt settle to well with him, because the next thing I know, he's got me pinned to the ground. His fist raised above my face, ready to hit me at any point. I looked up into his eyes, tears blurring my vision a bit. "Go ahead. Hit me." I whispered. "Beat the shit out of me. Nothing ever stopped you before." Then he shrugged and brought his fist up again, right as he was bringing it closer to my face I started screaming as loud as I could. He tried to shut me up, but I bit his hand, screaming even louder. He got off of me and let me up. I stood up, ready to run if I needed to. Andrews house wasnt that far away. "You done screamin?" Mike asked. I shrugged and he cursed. I took one look at him and knew he wasnt going to come after me, he didnt want to me to scream and cause a commotion.
I walked away and towards Andrews house, I walked up the front steps and knocked on the door. His mom opened the door. "Oh, hello Breanna." she smiled, a little shocked to see me at this time. "Hey Mrs. B. Sorry to just show up..." she cut me off. "Its no problem, you're welcome anytime dear. We love having you here. The boys love you, Andrew loves you, I love you. You can come whenever you need to." she smiled happily. I loved Andrews mom, she was always so...chipper. I considered her a mom, I had known her since I was 8. "Thank you so much Mrs. B." I smiled and hugged her. "Bre, call me mom if you want." she smiled. Thats when I started crying, she led me over to the couch and we sat there for a while, with me crying and her comforting me. Andrew walked in, with Kyle and Caleb and came over to me. "Bre, are you okay? Whats wrong?" he asked, taking me from his mom. "I'm fine." I smiled through my tears. "I'm finally for once..happy with my life. I have an amazing brother, the best boyfriend in the world..and a mom." I smiled looking over at Mrs. Brumley. Andrew smiled and kissed my cheek. "Come on, you look tired." Andrew sighed picking me up and carrying me to his room. I smiled widely as he set me on his bed. "I talked to him, before I came over here." I admitted while Andrew was facing away from me, getting some clothes for me out of his drawer. "who?" he asked, distracted. "My dad." I replied. He turned around and looked at me, wide eyed. "He didnt hurt you did he?!" "No, no..he tried..but I took care of it." I laughed, taking some clothes from Andrew and changing into them. "Bre, promise me something?" Andrew asked quietly, sitting on the bed. "Anything." I nodded, going to sit by him. "Dont go looking for your dad. He's nothing but trouble and you need to wait until someone deals with him first. I dont want you to get hurt." He looked me in the eyes. "I promise." I agreed, hugging him. "Good, I love you Bre." he smiled, kissing me. "Yeah, yeah. I know you do." I laughed. He raised an eyebrow at me as I started to lay down. "Oh fine, I love you too Andrew." I giggled before laying down and falling asleep. Finally, for once, I was happy with my life and what I have. So what if I'm a greaser, it beats being a Soc. So what if I dont have a real mom, I still have a great 'mom' who cares about me. And so what if my brother is like my dad, I can go to him about anything and everything and know he'll always be there for me. I'm proud to be a greaser for once. And I never want to change that :)

My Drunken Asshole of a Father, and the Best Brother Ever.

So as most of you know, my fathers been in jail for...a long time. Well the other day I got a call from Mark saying he was out of jail. I will admit that I was scared shitless after I found this out. I knew he'd try to find me after he got out of jail, but I didnt know if he intended to hurt me or not. Cristy said she'd help make sure I was safe, but I knew she couldnt because of her baby. So I just counted on myself to keep me safe. Like I always had.
A few days later I was home alone, waiting for Mark to bring Bazz over. I heard a knock on the door and I got up from my place on the couch, thinking it was Mark. I opened the door and saw my dad, standing in front of me. He still looked like my dad, he still looked like the man me and Mark used to look up to. But, he was different. He was colder, meaner, heartless. "Breanna." he smiled. "Dad." I swallowed hard, stepping back into the house. He stepped forward, trying to close the distance between us, but I ran inside and up to my room. Shutting the door and locking it, I ran to the other side of my bed and sat on the floor, trying to hide. I heard him kicking the door and I heard it starting to give. I looked over to the window, I was on the second floor. It wasnt that far of a jump...I could try at least. I started to get up but heard the door hit the floor and turned around. My dad had knocked the door down and was making his way over to me, he had a switchblade in his hand. "I'm going to do what I did to your mother, only this time I have an extra...present before I kill you." He laughed and grabbed my shirt, pulling me over to him. I tried to get away, but couldnt. I started crying and screaming, trying to get ANYONES attention. But no one could hear me. I tried to get away some more but my dad cut my arm with the knife. I screamed and grabbed my arm. I wiped some blood off and stopped trying to fight him. It was obvious to me that I was going to die.

xx

After my dad was done..doing what he wanted to me, he said he'd keep me around in case he got bored and left. I had a few cuts and bruises on my face and arms, and some on my stomach and legs..pretty much everywhere. "I cant do this anymore." I thought outloud walking down the stairs and into the kitchen. I searched through cabinets and drawers until I came across what I was looking for. I took the bottle of vodka out from underneath the sink and screwed off the cap. I took a swig and walked over to the corner of the living room and sunk to the ground. As soon as I hit the ground I was bawling my eyes out. I dont know how long I sat there crying and drinking and crying some more. It was all I could do, it was all I wanted to do. But Mark walked in the front door after a little while. "Bre?!" He called, looking around, not being able to find me. I made a strange sound from my corner and Bazz came running over to me. I pulled him into my lap and cried a little more as Mark made his way over to me. Once he could see me, he ran over to me and pulled me into his arms. "Bre, what happened? Are you okay?" He asked, rocking me in his lap and kissing my forehead like he used to when I got hurt. "Dad.." I cried into his shoulder. I heard him murmer a line of very very very bad words, cursing out our father. "Where the hell is he now?!" Mark yelled, standing up, picking me up and holding me. "I dont know, he left..he was gonna kill me Mark, he raped me again." I cried even more. "Look, come stay with me. He wont know you're there, and I'll be home with you." Mark offered, walking me up to my room. "Okay," I agreed, looking around for Bazz. "Lets get your stuff together." Mark sighed, sitting me on my bed. He grabbed most of my clothes and fit them in two suitcases. He picked up both of the suitcases and I picked up Bazz before we walked out the door and to his car. The drive to his house was silent. Because he was too pissed off to speak and my throat hurt from the vodka and all the crying. "Stella isnt home right now.." Mark said, parking in his driveway. "She isnt?" I asked, getting out of the car and waiting for Mark to get my suitcases. "She went to visit her friends, she probably wont be home till tomorrow." Mark answered, walking to the front door with me. I opened it and we walked inside and up to my old room, which Mark had fixed up. I looked over at him and smiled, he was the best big brother ever. "Mark.." I said as he walked out the door. "Yeah?" He asked, turning to look at me. "You're the best brother a Bre could ever ask for. Thank you so much." I smiled hugging him. "I love you Bre." He laughed and let me go. "I love you too Marker." I smiled as he walked out the door. I think things are gonna be A-Okay now. :)

i dont know what to name this post, so im naming it this. :D

today i was walking sebastian when i noticed someone new walking down the sidewalk. it was a guy, but he didnt look like a greaser, so i went over to him and casually walked by with bazz. he stopped me, just like i thought he would. "hey," he said grabbing my arm. i shook my arm out of his grip. "you new around here?" i smirked. "not exactly, see, im from the other side of town." he laughed. "so, a socs trying to be a grease.." i looked him up and down "why?" "bob, he wants me to find out more about the Curtis's little gang." he answered, proudly. "you know any of em?" "nope." i lied. "i know who they are though, heard dallas kicked bobs ass." i laughed. "oh, too bad. and no, dallas did not kick bobs ass." he frowned. i really wanted to know who this kid was. "who are you?" i asked. "my names gage." he smiled. "cool name." i smiled. "whats your name?" he asked. i didnt feel comfortable telling him, but i did anyways. "breanna lynn parker, but call me bre." i answered. "i like your name, bre." he smiled. "thanks, so, gage, you wanna go with me to take my dog home?" i asked, shaking bazz's leash. "sure bre, why not." he smiled and walked with me to cristy's house. i didnt want to let him in, but i didnt want to be rude and leave him outside, so i let him in. "just let me put bazz up.." i called to him from upstairs. i heard a knock on the door on the way down and practically fell down the stairs running to get it. but gage had already opened the door, and dallas and andrew walked in. "bre, who is this?" andrew asked. "gage. i met him today when i was walking bazz." "we came to watch you, apparently no one is supposed to be left alone now." dallas sighed, sitting his fat ass in the chair by the tv. "arent you going to introduce me to your friends, breanna?" gage smirked, he was talking like a socs now. "bre..." andrew said, getting closer to me. dallas had gotten up from his chair. "uhm, this is andrew, my boyfriend, and thats dallas." i replied, looking back and forth between dal and gage. gage spun around to face dally. "dallas winston. the one who thinks he's tough enough to take bob. i oughta kick your ass right here, right now. but bob has other plans for you." gage sneered. andrew had walked over to dal now, to help him if he needed it, but dal never needed help. gage spun back around to face me. "bre, bre, bre...you lied to me dollface." he fake frowned. then he brought his hand up and wrapped it around my neck and pushed me against the wall. "bob never said i couldnt hurt bre, in fact, he never mentioned a bre." gage smirked, looking into my eyes. he squeezed down tighter on my neck. it was getting hard to breathe and i was starting to wonder why dal and andrew hadnt done anything. the next thing i know, my neck isnt being squeezed anymore and andrew is fighting gage in the front yard. "bre, come lay down until andrew's done, okay?" dal smiled, patting the spot beside him on the couch. i laid down beside him until andrew came in a few minutes later. "come on babe, you can stay at my place tonight." andrew sighed, picking me up bridal style and carrying me out the door. we were in front of his hoouse a few minutes later. caleb and austin were in the front yard, being nerds. andrew walked me into the house where kyle and their mom were talking in the kitchen. "hello bre." their mom smiled. "hey mrs. b." i smiled back. "mom, bre is staying the night." andrew smiled then walked me back to his room. "you feeling better babe?" he asked, laying me on the bed. "yeah, but im tired. night andrew." i sighed and closed my eyes. he leaned down and kissed my forehead, "goodnight bre." <33 and that was my lovely adventure today ;)

ANDREW FUCKING BRUMLEY YOU BETTER FUCKING READ THIS. :D

I really wish you could tag people in blogger posts :/ but I'll make sure that Andrew reads this.
Andrew: Okay, you did not give me enough time to explain when you barged into Cristy's house and yelled at me. YES, I thought I loved Keith at the time. but I talked to Jamie and she said that since I liked you, I couldnt love Keith because you cant like one person and love another. A week is not enough time to fall in love with someone, although I think I could grow to fall in love with you. Truth is, I think I only wanted Keith because he was taken. It's not like I didnt like you, and if you loved me as much as you said you did, you would've put it behind you and stayed with me. You would've trusted me. but before you walked out of Cristy's house after yelling, I was going to tell you something. I was not going to break up with you for Keith. I was going to try to work it all out with you, because I want[ed] to be with you. If you dont mind, I'd like to talk to you...

WEDDING!♥

Tiffany looked so beautiful at her wedding, Andrew looked handsome. They are a really cute couple and their wedding was amazing. The after party was fun, me and Andrew [Brumley] danced a lot. He started whispering things in my ear like I was prettier than the bride, and how he this was how he wanted our wedding. "What wedding?" I asked. "Oh, maybe we'll get married someday." he smiled. I stopped dancing with him and walked away, claiming i needed a drink. i saw luke dancing with a bunch of girls so i walked over to him and he asked if i wanted to dance. i smiled and nodded and we started dancing. sometime while we were dancing cristy walked by and told me she was leaving. i nodded and then told luke what she said. he said he was gonna go too and we stopped dancing, so i found andrew. we danced for a little bit but then i realized he was super drunk so i said we should go home. i walked with him to his house to make sure he got there okay. "goodnight andrew." i smiled after walking him to his room. "hey bre?" he called after me. i turned around and he kissed me, "i love you." he whispered. "i love you too." i smiled and pulled away. "go to sleep babe, you're gonna have a hangover tomorrow." i laughed and then left. i went back home, or well..to cristys house. i sat on the couch with my snuggie, slippers, a glass of wine, and goldfish. i turned on straight to dvd and started watching it, laughing at how stupid all time low is. then the doorbell rang, i ignored it at first hoping someone else would answer it. then it started ringing like crazy and sebastian [i stole him from marks house, cuz hes my dog] started barking which woke up cristy and sophie. i got up and angrily walked to the door with my snuggie still on. "hey snuggs." luke smiled. i scoffed and let him in. "what do you want? cristy's gonna be PISSED. and wait, are you drunk?" i asked walking him over to the couch. cristy walked down the stairs and at about that time luke passed out on top of me on the couch. fml.

andrew♥

as most of you know, if you've been on facebook recently. im dating the second oldest brumley, andrew. [i love how i am like..always with someone in that gang -.-] anyways, the other night i was over at the brumleys place, hanging with kyle and being best friends and such when andrew came home. he was pissed off about something so me and kyle offered him our joint. he sat down and we all passed it around our "circle" it wasnt much of a circle. AT ALL. andrew kept lookin at me and smiling so i asked him why. "you're really pretty breanna." he smiled. "thanks, you're really..hot." i laughed passing the joint to kyle, who was watching us. "we should go out sometime." andrew smiled. "i think thats a bad idea." kyle glared. "she just got out of a serious relationship and all." "shut up kyle, no one asked you." i laughed. "I'd love to go out sometime." i smiled at andrew. so after we went out on a date the next night, we were just kinda together. we've been together for like a week now and i already think i love him, he's amazing. he makes me smile and laugh, and i can be myself around him. he's definately the right one for me right now, he needs me and i need him. no one else has ever made me feel like he does. i love you andrew<3

I'm Better Off..When I Hit The Bottom.

Life is shit. People are shit. Relationships are even shittier.
I pretty much hate a certain someones guts now. So, I'm going back to Virginia tonight, and I'm stealing Dawn and taking her with me. Its kinda of a girls thing. We will come back, we just wanna get away, and party..have fun. So, I don't know when we'll be back, but we WILL come back. Ha ha.

Virginia, Cristy, Johnny, Luke, Kyle, and Keith. plus weed. you cant leave weed out. (:

You know how when you get your heart broken and you know its your fault, you just want to be alone? You just want to lock yourself up in your room and be alone, with your music and your thoughts. Thats how I wanted to be when I left for Virginia. I wanted to be alone, I didnt want to be followed. I needed to think, to be alone and process what happened to me. But apparently Cristy and Johnny had other plans, so they followed me. The day they decided they wanted to come, I hadnt been in the best of moods. I had just gotten to Virginia, I had been in a car crash earlier that morning, I barely had any sleep and the last thing I wanted was to be interupted when I was trying to think. But its not like they KNEW that. They cant read my mind. Although at that moment I wished they could, because then they never would've knocked on the damn door. But, since they cant read my mind, they did knock on the door. And I was pissed off by the time I opened the door up and saw them standing there. Johnny had a goofy grin on his face, and Cristy looked like she had just yelled surprise. With my lack of sleep, and awful emotional state I was in I simply said fuck off and slammed the door in their faces.
"Bre, come on! I'm your gangsta bestie, you cant ignore me like this!" Johnny yelled through the door. "What does it look like I'm doing Johnny?" I yelled back. "Come on Bre, open the door!" Cristy joined in. They were already annoying the hell out of me, and it only made it worse when they started banging on the door. "Stop it!" I yelled and opened the door. "If it makes you fucking stop, just come in." They came in and sat on the bed. "Why are you two here?" I asked, I really had no clue why they came. "To see you Bre, of course. And to bring you home. Mark's worried sick, the gang misses you.." Johnny smiled. "Yeah right. It doesnt really matter unless he misses me Johnny." I scoffed. I meant what I said too, the whole reason I was here was to think over the situation between me and Keith. And if I had found out that he missed me then I wouldve jumped right into my car and went straight back to Tulsa. "The gang misses you though! And Mark, you know how Mark gets when he misses you..he drinks." Johnny whined. "I'm not coming home guys, you wasted your time."
So then they left my room and went to get their own. They werent going to leave until I left with them apparently. Oh joy. But I could just ignore them, and go on with my thinking and my loneliness. The good thing about Virginia though, was that everyone was nice. On my second day there a nice woman offered me a job, it sounded like a good offer and I didnt know how long I was going to stay here, plus I was running low on the cash I stole from Marks wallet. So, as any smart mature adult would do, I took it. She had me start working that day, and it wasnt a hard job. I just had to help her with chores around her house, and she had a big house. I would say, if she lived in Tulsa, she would be a Soc. I did get paid good though, enough for food, and the hotel bill. Everyday was basically the day before, only each day I'd get paid a little more. One day when we were working on moping the floors, the woman asked me what a girl my age was doing alone so far from home. So I explained to her what happened, and why I needed to get away. It was then that I realized, maybe I needed to grow up. So instead of trying to figure out my relationship problems, I worked on growing up.
On my fourth or fifth day there, I decided I needed to apologize to Johnny and Cristy. So I went to the hotel and went to their room. They were leaving, as I was walking in. "Hey Bre." Cristy said, she didnt seem like she wanted to talk to me. "Cris, can we talk? And Johnny too?" They agreed to talk and we sat down in their room, in a big circle on the ground. "Guys, I'm sorry, I really am. Its just..all of this is overwhelming. I needed to get away, to think. To be alone, I didnt want you two to show up. No offence. But..I'm glad you did. Even if we havent talked since now..I liked knowing that if I ever needed someone, you two were right down the hall. Its good to know I have such great friends who care about me, and want me to be okay." "Bre, hun, we arent mad. Its just..me and Luke are having problems, he just called me and all he did was yell. Sometimes, you arent the only one hurting." I never thought about Cristy and Luke having problems, they seemed so picture perfect. So happy. So..in love. It never occured to me that they could have their problems. The next step in growing up for me will be learning that other people have problems that are just as important as mine. "Aw, Cristy, I'm sorry." I hugged her. "Bre, its fine. Trust me, Im sure it will all work out with me and Luke."
She was right when a day later Luke showed up in Virginia, with a bouqet of flowers for Cristy. He was nice enough to get me an All Time Low shirt, and he got Johnny some pop rocks and red bull. Luke convinced Cristy to come back home with him, and I convinced Johnny to go back home with the lovely couple. So after they left, it was just me again. :/
That night I had seen there was a drag race going on the next night and I thought 'Hey, this is dangerous and completely stupid, why not join in?' so thats just what I did. But, me and my stupidness got on facebook that night and not very many people were on so I was stuck talking to my best friend, Kyle Brumley. He asked how I was, and if I was coming home anytime soon. I said I was doing fine and if things go the way I want them to in the race tomorrow, I wont even be alive to come home. Well this, didnt settle too well with him and the next thing I know, he's on his way to get me. Even after my threats of gluing myself to the floor, he still came after me. The next morning he was in my hotel room throwing my things in my suitcase and dragging me out to the car. I was too tired to stop him, and I barely knew what was going on until I saw a 'Welcome to Kentucky' sign.
"Take me back." I commanded him. He just laughed and handed me some weed. "Here, this'll calm you down." I took them and started smoking the weed. He was wrong, it didnt calm me down. Instead I started crying like crazy. "Jesus Bre, calm down. Look, I know you're sad about what happened with that kid, but..running away wasnt a very good way to fix things." "I know that." "Then why'd you do it?" "I thought..maybe he'd realize he loves me and come after me. I was wrong though." "Bre, this isnt a fairytale, this is real life." "I know that, but..cant a girl dream?" this made him laugh a little. "I guess I'll let you dream." Then I went to sleep until we got back to Tulsa. Once I was back I heard from Keith, we talked and worked things out. Couldnt it have been this easy BEFORE I left? I like happy endings, and this was a happy ending. Only this was a weird and mixed up happy ending. Me and Keith are back together, and that makes me extremely happy. He's everything I could ever ask for, I cant live without him. <3 P.S. this is the longest post I have ever written :D :D :D